surreal / blog categorization + more gear + m6 test photos

I started blogging in 2010 because I became very intensely interested in photography, and I didn’t know anyone at the time who shared my curiosities to the same depth. I blogged to share information, not knowing who would care (and a lot of people did!). Blogging, especially somewhat anonymously, has always been a way for me to share various pieces of myself in a way that felt genuine to my thought processes without the pressure of followers, view count, or the judgment of others.

I think the challenge with this blog has been that it’s directly tied to my personal portfolio. I know peers who check in on it every now and then. Potential employers have stumbled upon this page. I understand that people are interested in seeing how I’m doing, what I’m thinking about more generally, what I’m reading, maybe. I’ve devolved into a more “life update” type of blogging because I worry that diving into anything too niche will be alienating in some way. It inevitably will, but I want to revive this space as a place where I feel free to express the majority of my thoughts, no matter how specific. I’ve revived the “categories” part on my posts—the categories are as follows:

• books - reflection books that i’m readin

• boston - an old category tag from when i lived in boston!

• digital - digital photos from trips

• fiction - my attempts at writing fiction

• film - posts that contain film images

• gear - posts about things; might include cameras, lenses, backpacks

• information - posts that are intended and organized to be informative about a specific topic

• instant - posts that contain instant photographs

• life - includes a general life update section

• music - reflection on albums, songs, music in general

• poetry - my rare attempts at writing poetry

• projects - posts that include making things; might include woodworking, electronics projects

• rambling - more stream-of-consciousness thoughts on relevant topics in general; might include current events + politics

• travel - posts that include trips

• writing - the counter of rambling, includes more structured forms of writing

I hope this helps those passing through my blog (you!) find the content that you’re interested in reading about.

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As a quick gear update to my last post, here is an actual picture of my new pack and camera setup, which I have been loving a lot. The Leica M6, Zeiss Biogon 28mm f/2.8, Voigtlander 35mm f/1.4, Zeiss Planar 50mm is a sweet 3 lens setup that is barely noticeable weight in my bag. 28mm is my favorite focal length, and I was a fan of the color contrast from my experience with the Biogon design on my old Contax G1. 28mm and 50mm is probably an ideal two lens combo, but Voigtlander is hard to leave out for its wide aperture capability for indoor shots.

The Brevite Jumper has been awesome—I carried it through a full day photoshoot on Friday with the M6, lenses, and a Mamiya 6, and it was discreet, easy to work out of, and comfortable to carry on a really hot day. The outer organization pocket makes it easy to grab pens, mask, cleaning cloths, wallet, keys, and things like that, while it’s comforting to know that my camera bodies and lenses are well protected inside. The top pocket is just wide enough for my keyboard, a book, a jacket, and other necessities. I’m also excited to eventually share a photo project I got to work this month!

Regarding lenses—while researching reasonably priced M-mount lenses, I came across some cool lens diagrams that elucidate the key element differences between different lens types. There’s quite a few of these diagrams, but this one from 1978 to 2010 includes the 50mm Planar lens and the Nokton 35mm that I have. I am curious to learn more about the history of different lens designs and how each design renders images uniquely.

A shot of the new backpack on the Zeiss 28mm f/2.8 from my first M6 test roll (Fuji C200).

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Less gear related and more just generally life interest related, I’ve started reading photography books. I’ve owned Susan Sontag’s On Photography for years now, but had only read one chapter up until a few weeks ago. Beyond Michael Freeman’s A Photographer’s Eye, I’ve actually never really picked up a photo book before. I regret that it took me so long, but I’m now reading Errol Morris’s Seeing is Believing and also picked up Magnum Contact Sheets and Road to Seeing by Dan Winters. I’m eager to learn more about photography in a more structured way through inspiration and lessons from great photographers.

We picked up vegan sushi from Kensho in Huntington Beach and had a picnic at a local park. (Leica M6, Zeiss 28mm f/2.8, Fuji C200).

An early sunrise near Palos Verdes (Leica M6, Zeiss 28mm f/2.8, Portra 800)

Both images from Sequoia National Forest (Olympus XA4, Fuji C200)

Ginger pays a visit (Leica M6, Zeiss 28mm f/2.8, Fuji C200)

reflection question

What is something you haven’t expressed recently?

the missing road / sequoia

I got my first rolls of film developed since COVD-19 started in February. I had one roll of black and white film in my Olympus XA4 that I’ve been shooting intermittently since then, but I shot 2 rolls of Ektar 100 on the Mamiya 6 on a recent trip to Sequoia National Forest. I’ve missed photography a lot during this time, and plan on shooting more of my daily life whenever possible. The documentation helps provide checkpoints in what seems like a pretty monotonous passing of time.

A photo of me in May working on a plywood coffee table (you can catch a glimpse of it above).

I’ve been reworking my camera gear recently (perpetually?). I sold my X100F and got a Leica M6, which has been my dream camera since I began film photography as a 14 year-old. It seemed entirely unobtainable then, both financially and practically. I purchased my Leica M2 in 2018 in horrendous condition because it seemed unreasonable to spend so much money on a mechanical camera, but after putting hundreds of rolls through it, I’ve decided a good condition, reliable camera that can capture my most precious moments is worth it. I’m excited to have a built-in light meter and a fully functioning shutter. I’ve never been a huge fan of camera backpacks (to be fair, as a backpack enthusiast, camera backpacks haven’t really become well-designed until the last few years), but the Brevite Jumper seemed interesting as an everyday backpack that could protect my cameras and lenses better than chucking them in my backpack with a wrap or jacket. After using it for a week or so, I like it a lot. The gear compartment keeps my camera stuff well-protected and organized, and there’s enough room for everyday work things like my laptop, tablet, headphones, and keyboard if I want to work somewhere else for the day (during the pandemic, options are limited). Here’s a quick sketchy illustration of everything that goes into it.

Other updates

• I’m current reading Franchise: The Golden Arches in Black America. It’s an interesting history of McDonalds as well as the impact of the chain on Black businesspeople and communities. This 99% Invisible podcast is a great summary for those interested in the topic but can’t read the book now.

• I read Minor Feelings by Cathy Park Hong recently. As an Asian American who has often felt isolated because of my racial identity, it was a cathartic read at times, and insightful/entertaining at others.

• Also reading The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness which is a must-read for everyone. It persuasively and effectively highlights all the injustices of our justice system.

• We’ve been watching the 2018 remake of Meteor Garden to improve our Chinese skills and there’s only 5 episodes left.

• I’m currently scoping out the next woodworking project (the finished bar stools are shown below). I think I will be making a guitar amp stand/shelf with more poplar 2x2’s and maybe some walnut.

• I’ve been curious about taking an online photography class…not so much about technique or gear, but more of the storytelling aspect and building cohesive photo stories.

reflection question

What is something you're interested in learning more about in a structured way?

rollercoaster / springville

It's been a weird half a year. "Weird" is probably an understatement—it's been a pretty devastating year, with global death, governmental apathy and incompetence, and lots and lots of frustration with current police systems. Like I said in the last post, I've been finding it very difficult to share anything publicly. I've gone silent on social media since April, not knowing what could possibly be that relevant in the midst of a global pandemic. Since then, it has also seemed more forceful to highlight and strengthen black voices whenever and wherever possible, although I’m still not sure how to best do that on a personal blog. It is eerie to scroll social media now, where group party pics have resurfaced, where people are posting about their cross country road trips, where very few signs of police brutality or pandemic remain despite the steady state of relevance.

I'm not surprised that people have let their guard down--I feel like I have done the same, in some regards. Half a year is a long time to stay away from friends and family, and it's understandable that people crave social engagement in any form. I've expanded my social bubble as well—I don't live with my mom anymore but visit a couple of times a week. I visit my grandma now and then, and I've seen a friend to drop off some furniture and catch up in a nearby park. I'm an introvert and I know that I am fairly well-equipped for restricted social interaction. I had the privilege of a remote job prior to the pandemic and have the privilege of living with my very best friend. For those living in less-than-ideal situations, an opportunity to return to normal is a blessing, and I can empathize with that.

On top of Dome Rock in Sequoia National Forest

I went camping this past weekend in Sequoia National Forest, near Springville, CA, as a cautious escape. In a lot of ways it was idyllic—we camped by a river, napped in a hammock under giant trees, hiked, discussed The New Jim Crow and ways we can address our own internalized racism, saw some beautiful sunsets views. In other ways, it was extremely stress-inducing. We brought masks on all of our hikes, pulling them up whenever anyone was within sight. We wore them even as temperatures rose above a hundred degrees. A small percentage of fellow hikers returned the favor. Using any public facility, like a restroom on the road or the compost toilet near our campsite, involved careful sanitation. Was it excessive? For a lot of people, definitely, but with 341k cases in California and more than 7000 deaths, should it really seem excessive?

Open roads and golden mountains

I think what's most frustrating about the current pandemic and political climate is that everyone wants their social activity back, but fewer people are willing to take the small inconveniences that would actually make people safe and comfortable. Those who don't wear masks or abide by basic distancing and sanitation measures are somewhat protected by the hyper-vigilant, but then feel justified when nothing happens to them because they've offloaded all of the preventative burden onto other people. Honestly, camping this weekend easily could've been relatively stress-free. If that girl at the gas station covered her nose with her mask as well as her mouth, if the guy who exited to restroom actually washed his hands and wiped down the toilet and door handles as suggested, if all of the hikers on the trails wore masks when nearing other groups of people, it would've felt safer, more like a team effort, less draining. There was unspoken relief when we passed others that were also wearing masks. Almost a sigh, "Well, at least these people are trying." Perhaps they were just as conflicted on whether they should've gone on the trip in the first place, or if it would've been better and safer for everyone if they had just stayed home, but after six months, they just really needed a break.

Our campsite by the Tule River in Springville, CA.

I wish people talked about what being in public is like right now. Watching people go about their lives can be alarming, and I search for indication that lives didn't suddenly return to normal despite 138k deaths in the country, despite the fact that black people are still dying at the hands of police, that Breonna Taylor's killers are still working as policemen, that Aurora police officers took smiling selfies while reenacting a chokehold at the site where their colleagues killed Elijah McClain. It seems like we are striving for a pre-2020 normal, but really, normal isn't anywhere close to good enough.

I suppose a good question for myself would be, “What would you rather people be doing?”.

Wearing masks and social distancing, for sure, but I’m not quite sure of what else, so perhaps it’s a good reflection question to leave here.

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In other news, here is a stool I built for my grandma. I made it from poplar with two Japanese hand saws and a few chisels.

sweeter / covid updates

I’ve found it difficult to write lately, especially on this public space on the internet. My life is moving forward—I just moved out, my work has continued, my projects have continued, I find moments of stillness in sunset gradients as I always have. Protests for racial justice have taken the political stage, COVID-19 continues to rock the nation, and I continue to ponder my place in all of it. I attended my first Black Lives Matter protest (Roxbury, MA) in 2014, perhaps my first real experience in making an effort to understand and empathize with the real life injustices of America. The energy of that crowd is difficult to forget, and I have, since then, continuously made an effort to reflect on my own internal biases and engage in self-educational efforts to understand the nuances of inequality beyond overt racism. If you’re interested, here are some of the books I have found helpful so far in building layers of understanding of American history and society through different genres! If you have any that you think would be helpful for me, please share.

• The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin

• Notes of a Native Son by James Baldwin

• Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates

• The Sun Does Shine: How I Found Life and Freedom on Death Row by Anthony Ray Hinton

• When They Call You a Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir by Patrisse Khan-Cullors

• The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

• The Cooking Gene: A Journey Through African American Culinary History in the Old South by Michael Twitty

Angela Davis, Ibram X. Kendi, and The New Jim Crow are on my list.

The state of COVID-19 is also absurd to think about. As case counts continue to rise, I see people throughout Orange County blatantly (and often proudly) walking about in public disregarding Gov Newsom’s statewide order for masks. There are observable racial divides between what groups of people will respectfully wear masks, and what groups of people will declare masks a freedom-threatening nuisance that must be met with death threats towards public health officials who request their widespread use. It is horrifying to observe, but both of these issues prompts reflection on how we can better engage / change the opinions of those we find unreasonable.

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I moved to Orange last week, a small city north of Irvine near the Anaheim Hills. We’re in a small one bedroom on the property of a larger house, and our landlord has a goat named Ginger. Ginger likes to run into the house when the door is open to say hello.

After more than 3 month of stay-at-home-orders, I am finding it increasingly suffocating to stay indoors for long periods of time. We went on a bike ride in Upper Newport a few weeks ago. The bike trails were pretty busy but feeling the ocean breeze was a welcome respite.

I’ve worked on far too many projects at once in the last month. One of them was building out a set of bookshelf speakers from a DIY kit. My paint job was a little janky, but they sound nicer than any speakers I’ve ever had. Since the last post, I’ve also done the following projects:

• Built a TV console / speaker shelf

• Built a coffee table

• Reupholstered couch cushions

• Built a standing desk and removable laptop stand

• Built a keyboard stand + wrist rest

• Soldered and assembled a USB-C cable

• Soldered and assembled an aux cable

All of the projects are becoming a blur and maybe one day I will post photos of the finished house setup. Due to the small size and lack of shop space, I’ve decided that my future projects will be hand-tool only. I’ve relied a circular saw, router, jigsaw, and a random orbit sander on my projects, but I will be transitioning to a Japanese hand saw, some chisels, sandpaper, and a hand plane for future projects. When I first became interested in woodworking, I thought I would enjoy power tools and building large furniture pieces, but I’m realizing that taking my time, being more meditative and thoughtful with my work, not fearing dismembering myself, and not having to clean sawdust off every surface after cutting or sanding something sounds more appealing. In the next few weeks, I will be building out some bar stools, and a little floor workbench and toolbox for my hand tools. I have been enjoying this new hobby and making physical objects again. I’ve missed a film camera in my hand and open skies, but for now, I appreciate woodworking as an COVID-19-friendly hobby and a way to make a space feel more personal.

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reflection questions

• What’s the most memorable encounter you’ve had regarding race? Have you felt threatened? Have you felt privileged?

• In what ways does race impact your personal life? Your professional life?

oceansize [birthday]

Woodworking projects are in full force now that I have a reasonable enough tool collection to tackle simple projects. Over the last few weeks, I’ve been building a standing desk for working outside. The top laptop riser is removable so that I can work on the floor, which I’m accustomed to doing from college years. This was made from a few layers of 1/2 inch baltic birch plywood and 37” steel hairpin legs.

Prior to the desk, I worked on a paracord seat inspired by Modern Builds. Instead of turning it into a stool, some mistakes along the way turned this into a rocking floor chair. Weaving the paracord took a total of more than 4 hours (I listened to many Planet Money episodes in the process), but I’m quite happy with the way it turned out.

other updates

• I turned 25! The day was full of love, fruit bowls, apple pie, noodles, jigsaw puzzles, and more love. Feeling old and uncool nowadays but infinitely grateful for all the wonderful people in my life.

• The pink oyster mushrooms were finally ready for the cooking. Pictured below pan-fried with kale, spinach, and fried tofu.

• I sold a bunch of stuff on eBay, including my Canon QL17 rangefinder, the 28mm 7artisans lens, Sony noise cancelling headphones, some clothes, and a laptop. In lieu of the wide-angle which was a little too heavy to carry regularly with the Leica M2, I got a Moment anamorphic lens for some sweet wide shots on my birthday gift iPhone SE. It’s really fun to shoot with and I like using it for project time lapse videos since it covers a wide field of view with little distortion.

• To return from dedicated bluetooth life, this little Fiio uBTR allows any wired headphones to be used wirelessly. I have it hooked up to some Tin Audio T2’s, which are lovely budget IEMs that I truly missed using. The stock cables didn’t have a microphone so it was hard to use for phone calls or work, but with the Fiio contraption I can use these wirelessly with both my phone and laptop at the same time and take calls.

• My brother and I hosted a successful Mother’s Day brunch with a menu and all. Tofu satay skewers, French toast, tempeh hash, mustard salad, avocado toast, and mango pudding.

• Eating vegan sushi from Kensho in Fountain Valley on a balcony tarp is a viable alternative to date nights at Newport Beach—Love in the Time of Covid-19.

• Currently reading How Much of These Hills is Gold by C Pam Zhang and I’m a little mind-blown by her insane writing capacity and the grotesqueness of it. It’s definitely unlike anything I’ve ever read before and it’s both incredibly intriguing and incredibly discomforting.

• In the process of building the speaker set which I’m documenting as a time-lapse. Will share in the next project update

• Will be moving in June and plan on building the majority of the furniture for the next house as a giant woodworking challenge

• Made apple cider from scratch from leftover birthday apples and it was delicious

• Tried to solder a USB-C cable which was a slight disaster but I’m currently using it to type on my keyboard so I guess it works

cool for a second [camper fit part ii]

camper fit finished

I’ve been bad at updating my blog, but I finally finished the Honda Fit camper car project a few weeks ago. I used extra foam from cutting down the mattress to make a bench seat cushion. I haven’t sewed anything substantial in a while, so putting together the removable jersey fabric bench cover with elastic bands was a bit of a challenge. I’m quite happy with how it turned out in the end. The dark grey side is for sitting on the bench, the light grey side becomes a low-profile pillow for the mattress.

Finished bench before the cover

Laying out my materials

Contrast banding holds the cushion in place

Finished!

I didn’t like the included cover with the mattress because it attracted dirt easily, which didn’t seem promising considering it would live in my car. I purchased some clearance SolarWeave nylon fabric and made a new cover. Since the fabric is a little bit rough, I cut a segment of leftover grey jersey fabric for the head part.

Mattress cover with pieces of fabric cut

Finished mattress cover with pillow!

Occupied

To finish off the project, I wanted to be able to keep the hatch open on hot summer nights, but didn’t want any bugs invading. I got some mosquito netting from Joann and cut it to size. To fasten it to the car, I used duct tape to create a seam on the edge and taped small rare-earth magnets that attached to the car. The magnets are quite small and pop off fairly easily, but should work for keeping mosquitos out.

other updates

• All summer plans cancelled because of COVID-19, which is sad, but very grateful for job and other privileges during this time

• Reading The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay. I haven’t read a fiction novel in a while and I’m really enjoying the departure from my usual water policy / environmental devastation content

• The pink oyster mushrooms from my last post grew rapidly, got drenched in rain, and then become infested with fungi gnats. They all died. We cut them out and attempted a second growth, and they’re growing again!

• Getting better at slingshotting and hitting cans from ~30 ft away

• I got a pair of C-Note MT bookshelf speakers as a DIY kit — haven’t assembled it yet because i want to do some custom paint work on the cabinets and am waiting on paint, but excited to learn more about how speakers work

• In the process of designing a somewhat modular standing desk for working outside / downstairs as the weather heats up

• Also in the process of designing a media console shelf thing for the speakers I haven’t built yet

rubyinsides [camper fit part 1]

Dear reader, I hope you’re staying healthy, safe, and sane out there, wherever you may be in the world.

update on my car camper project

Building the base that sits on the trunk and elevates the bed platform for underneath storage.

Cutting a 3 inch foam mattress topper I got off eBay.

Below is a picture of the whole expanded setup upside-down. The attached door handles anchor to my car to keep the entire thing from flying forward in the event of an accident or extremely hard stop.

I originally designed the sleeping platform to lie on top of two 18 inch tall storage bins. It…sort of worked, but as you can see in the picture, it was already bending under my weight and would definitely not work for two people. I liked the idea of having the bins for organization, but ended up deciding to make a bench that could either serve as a chill camp bench or the bed support. I opted for hairpin legs for absolute stability and ease of assembly.

Bench support! And Champy.

Folded

Unfolded

Occupied

pocket holes and mini project

I’m interested in improving my woodworking skills further, so I recently acquired a hand planer and some other small tools for little weekend garage projects. This past weekend, I set up my jack plane and evened out some warped common board I bought from Home Depot. I learned how to do pocket holes for the first time, made some angled cuts on the circle saw, and put together a little foot stool.

My next project is making custom covers for the bench support that can serve as padded seating or a sleeping pillow. I figured out how to sew zipper seams, and also plan on making a custom cover for the mattress that will be easier to clean and wipe down than the provided cotton cover.

living thing update

The lettuce are growing exponentially, and we’ve added sugar snap peas, mint, spinach, okra, carrots and basil!

Started a pink oyster mushroom grow kit from Forest Origins. This is where they’re at after a week of growing!

reflection question

What helps you stay sane during times of uncertainty?

these waters / mind dump on water quality

I’ve been deep in the water hole the past few months on water systems and regulations. It initially started with an interest in how water rights are distributed and how current and future drought might impact water availability in desert cities. While I was down that rabbit-hole, I became increasingly aware of the lack of regulation regarding chemical pollutants in terms of public health. Water quality regulation falls under the jurisdiction of the Environmental Protection Agency, but water quality is inherently a public health issue, not an environmental issue.

history of EPA and water regulation (from troubled water by seth m siegel)

timeline

• 1902, John Laing Leal started adding chlorine to the Jersey City Water Supply Company water to kill waterborne bacteria. Within a few years, 75% of US cities on a municipal water grid were using chlorination to ensure safety of drinking water

• Early 1970’s, scientists realize that chlorine was mixing with organic material (decomposing leaves, etc) to create trihalomethane (THMs), a known human carcinogen. This became a major news story that led to the passage of the Safe Drinking Water Act in 1974

• Under this legislation, the Environmental Protection Agency was tasked with solving the chlorine problem, as well as identifying and managing a growing list of industrial and other contaminants and come up with plans for protecting the public. The law also made utility companies responsible for monitoring the contaminants identified by the EPA and figure out ways of controlling or eliminating them

• 1986, the Safe Drinking Water Act was amended after frustration that only 23 chemicals had been regulated by the EPA after twelve years. Now, Congress demanded that EPA set standards for 83 chemicals in the following three years, and select and regulate another 25 contaminants by 1991. After 1991, 25 contaminants would be added to the list every three years after

• Political backlash mounted over the legislation, especially among smaller cities with smaller water budgets (water monitoring and treatment can be expensive). In 1994, the Safe Drinking Water Act was amended once again to eliminate mandatory standard setting by the EPA. It also removed the minimum number of contaminants to be regulated every three years, and it allowed the EPA to set standards based on the balance of public health and economic cost of regulation. The EPA was prohibited from studying more than 30 contaminants in any five year period.

• Since the 1996 amendment, more than two hundred chemicals have been presented to the EPA for review (including perchlorate, PFAS, pharmaceuticals, pesticides, and other known carcinogens). Only 26 has been selected for investigation. 2 have been selected for possible regulation. None have been regulated.

what does this mean for drinking water?

• Water utilities are incentivized to maintain the highest allowable levels of contaminants because it minimizes their treatment costs

• SDWA allows states to set higher standards than EPA, but regulation and disciplinary actions are the responsibility of the state

• EPA is politically incentivized to not add any chemicals to their regulatory list. More than 85,000 chemicals have been put on the market since 1996, and none are regulated

• Water regulation is a politically unpopular issue because it’s viewed as “environmental”, and therefore partisan, even though it is a life-critical resource and affects absolutely everyone

LA’s last published water report

Los Angeles Department of Water and Power’s 2018 water quality report.

Even if we look at just the tiny list of EPA regulated chemicals, this gets interesting. The table can be intimidating to look at, but I want to highlight two columns. The State Primary Standard is determined by California based on EPA guidelines. Most are the same as the federal EPA guidelines. The State PHG guideline is “public health goal”, which is a better numerical indicator of whether the concentration of chemicals have the potential to harm human health. The EPA is not a public health agency. They are not obligated to prioritize public health in making their regulatory decisions. They actually don’t seem to be making any regulatory decisions at all in terms of public drinking water, so as far as health concerns go, the EPA numbers basically mean nothing. We’ll reference the PHG column to gauge whether chemicals might be of concern. The Environmental Working Group has a contaminant database that outlines issues with contaminants and filtration methods that can reduce levels.

Bromate

As it says in the water report, bromate is a by-product of ozone disinfection (a common method of disinfecting municipal drinking water) when naturally occurring bromide in water reacts with the ozone. Bromate is a suspected human carcinogen, and while it is well under the EPA standard of 10 µg/L, at a level of 1-3 µg/L in Los Angeles’s drinking water, it’s an order of magnitude above the public health goal.

Activated carbon, reverse osmosis, and ion exchange filters can reduce bromate levels.

Uranium

Uranium is a radioactive material that is a known human carcinogenic. Again, the EPA diverges greatly from California’s public health suggestions here. The EPA’s federal guideline of 20 pCi/L would cause more than 4.6 cancer cases per 100,000 people. California Office of Environmental Health Hazard Assessment defines 0.43 pCi/L as the public health target, and Los Angeles’s water is well above that at 2-4 pCi/L.

Reverse osmosis and ion exchange filters can reduce uranium levels.

Lead

EPA establishes a “safe” level for lead, but there is no known safe level for lead. Even low level exposure in healthy adults can lead to kidney issues, and as demonstrated in Flint, officials are not incentivized to be open about lead problems in their communities. Lead testing is basically designed to measure the lowest possible levels (taps are run for a few minutes to first dispose of any water that has been sitting for a while, reducing the concentration of lead. The tests are also allowed to be conducted at much lower flow rate than normal use, which is less likely to cause lead pipes to flake into the water, also reducing the concentration of lead in the samples).

Quick summary of what happened in Flint

• Racial tension, economic downturn, and widening inequality led to the abandonment of Flint after the 1960’s

• Flint was placed under emergency management in 2011, and in 2014, the city looked to change their water source from the Detroit Water and Sewerage Department water (sourced from Lake Huron and the Detroit River) to the Flint River in order to save money

• Citizens began noticing and reporting rashes, hair loss, and clear contamination of their tap water. Officials defended themselves saying that levels tested at the treatment center were normal without accounting for the fact that the Flint River water was more corrosive than the Lake Huron water, and was causing lead pipes to flake after leaving the treatment plant

• In October 2014, a GM plant switched it’s water source after the tap water was deemed too corrosive to manufacture engine parts, but the State of Michigan continued to deny any fault in the water, seeking to discredit whistleblowers (including an independent EPA official) rather than acknowledge the problem

• A Virginia Tech study found that 40% of homes had elevated lead levels, but officials expressed skepticism

• Flint pediatrician Mona Hanna-Attisha found that elevated blood-lead levels in children citywide had nearly doubled since 2014 and nearly tripled in certain neighborhoods

• 2016 Michigan ACLU and citizens sued city and state officials. In November, a federal judge ordered door-to-door delivery of bottled water to every home without a properly installed and maintained faucet filter. They also eventually won a major settlement requiring the city to replace the city’s thousands of lead pipes with funding from the state

Los Angeles has had reports of elevated lead levels, and as demonstrated by Flint, it can be hard to draw enough attention to the issue to force officials to make changes. Water utilities are not incentivized to provide quality water to residents since upgrading filtration systems and changing lead pipes is costly.

what’s unregulated is probably scarier than what is regulated

Overall, the LADWP report shows generally safe levels of chemicals for consumption, but it is important o remember that only regulated chemicals are on that list, which does not include anything that has been found toxic in the last 20 years.

how do you protect yourself?

The EWG has a water selection filter tool based on your zip code. It shows contaminant levels based on each water district and how that compares to the EWG’s independent recommended health levels. Based on the specific chemicals, the tool suggests the best water filtration method.

This is what it shows for my zipcode in Orange County, but use your zip code to figure out what filter makes sense for your specific water utility.

extra career activities

Quick follow-up to my previous post about goals and “extra career” activities. I got a little overwhelmed by the daunting list of things I wanted to improve at, my existing hobbies, limited time, and limited money. This resulted in an attempted Venn diagram that turned into an Excel comparison chart.

My 3 factors of consideration were…

1. How much do I enjoy this activity?

2. How much money does this activity require?

3. How often do I want to be doing this activity?

For each factor, I considered both short term and long term enjoyment, cost, and ideal time spent. I gave each category a value between 0 and 3 for my current and potential activities. It’s important to note that this is not necessarily a spectrum of worse to better. The idea wasn’t to pick the most enjoyable, cheapest, or least time-consuming hobbies. I wanted to lay it out all out to be more mindful that I wasn’t committing myself to activities that were too demanding in any specific category. Balance was the priority.

During the exercise, I realized that many of my existing hobbies have persisted because of their low-cost and high enjoyment ratios. Other than photography, most of my existing hobbies had relatively small startup costs and were free afterwards (they say 0 for short term cost now because I have already bought the instrument or equipment necessary). I’m generally cost-conscious, so this made sense to me, but I realized I wanted to make sure I didn’t rule out an activity that could potentially be very rewarding just because it had a monthly cost associated with it.

I ended up with a variety of activities a little bit more clarity on what I wanted to spend my money and time on. Softgoods manufacturing and woodworking will probably be the most time and resource consuming, but I think the long-term enjoyment and skill-based nature of the activities will end up being rewarding. The results were pretty much what I expected, but it was helpful to go through the exercise and think everything through categorically. It gave me more confidence that I would be dedicating my time to the things that were meaningful to me in both the short and long-term, while not sacrificing either.

car camper

My first woodwork-y project is a bed for the back of my Honda Fit, which I’ve been designing / thinking about for a while now. Finally bought some wood and figured out some solid plans last weekend. Here’s a sketch of my current design — I took out my rear seats completely to maximize storage space for camping trips, although that may prove inconvenient at some point. I’m planning on using a foam mattress topper cut to size. The head to toe length will be about 70 inches.

Gari loaded up with building materials!

reflection question

What inspires you towards change and growth?

pedestal / march thoughts

It’s hard to believe we’re a full 2 months into 2020 already, but here we are. Lots of crazy things happening in the world and I have lots of thoughts about them.

coronavirus

When I read The Coming Plague by Laurie Garrett in 2018, I realized it was only a matter of time before the next global pandemic. Honestly, reading that book made it seem like it was an absolute miracle that these disease outbreaks didn’t happen more often. But now, coronavirus is here. It’s caused global panic, economic downturn, and continues to reveal the incompetencies of the current U.S. government. Mike Pence has essentially muzzled the CDC, Trump blames Democrats for ‘politicizing’ coronavirus after calling it a hoax, and the CDC has stopped disclosing the number of Americans being tested for the virus.

Misinformation is everywhere— I’m fact checking every WhatsApp link in my family group chat and refreshing the news pages every fifteen minutes just to follow what’s happening. I understand the panic due to lack of trust in government, the capacity this virus has had to travel undetected for weeks on end, and the uncontainable connectedness of our modern world. It’s really scary. I recognize and acknowledge that calmness is easy for me to encourage—I work from home in a place of relatively low population density with health insurance and financial stability—but I think the context of fear is worth considering.

This virus has proved difficult to fight for elderly patients. Concern for our older loved ones is reasonable and I think it’s important to prepare for the worst—stocking up on canned foods, medicine, and whatever necessities are required for brief quarantine. Preparedness is different than outright panic—hoarding food, toilet paper, masks, and other supplies can become detrimental for people who might actually really need those supplies. Death from any cause is scary, and the immediacy and unexpected nature of coronavirus plays into humankind’s fear (and obsession?) of dramatic apocalypses. I get that, but would also urge people to consider all the various other facets of their lives and personal decisions that affect safety and long-term health. The average American has a 1 in 5 chance of dying from cancer. In the US, 36,560 people died from car accidents in 2018. 67,367 died from opioid overdose and 48,344 from suicide that same year. From 1999 to 2010, 8,081 heat-related deaths were reported in the US. Lightning kills an average of 49 Americans a year.

I’m not trying to trivialize coronavirus. If you’re reading this and you haven’t stocked up on food and basic medical supplies for a potential quarantine, I would encourage you to do so. The risks are real and the fears are valid. I just wish that people would direct as much time and attention as they have to coronavirus in recent weeks in thinking through our healthcare systems, firearm regulation, safer driving behavior, and the less dramatic but significantly more deadly effects of our chemically-laden food and water systems, toxic airs, rising global temperatures, or any of the many ways people die every day, with no news reports dedicated to their passing.

democratic primaries

Super Tuesday was surprising, to say the least. I’m still working out how I feel about it all, although I’ve been generally uncertain about how I felt about it all since the first Democratic debate in June. I will say that regardless of the result of the primaries, I will show up in November for the future of our planet, our public health, our communities. Regardless of who the nominee is, I vote to fight for the validity of science, the power of compassion, and for the state of democracy in this country.

goals breakdown

I’ve been reconsidering and reorganizing the goals I have for the year. I’m not sure I gave that enough thought the first time around—it’s pretty easy to create a laundry list of New Years Resolutions just to have something to stick to, but I feel a little quarter life crisis coming and will try to be even more intentional about my time and efforts.

intellectual

I’m still aiming to read 44 books this year, but want to feel more okay about jumping around and cherry-picking for information that is relevant to me. The goal of reading this year is to bolster and encourage action in the categories listed below. I want to spend significantly more time engaging, building, and pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

action (engagement and policy)

I have still yet to go to a Citizens Climate Lobby meeting, but am still banking on that being my primary form of community engagement in policy. The goal here is to learn more about how political decisions are made, how to influence them, and what compromise realistically look like. How much effort does it take to change peoples minds, and what are effective mechanisms for encouraging change?

action (software + design)

I work at a startup now and am learning new things about software and UI/UX design on a daily basis. Progress in this aspect will happen regardless of what I do outside of work, but I want to do more independent design projects and learn more about implementation. I want to have confident understanding of how basic applications are designed, built, and tested from beginning to end. As a measurable goal, I want to help design and implement at least one side software project this year.

action (hardware + making)

This is probably the center pillar of my impending quarter-life crisis. I’ve loved building and making things my whole life, and while a mechanical engineering degree required a fair bit of shop time, I have yet to tackle major personal projects since graduating. I want to make this a priority for extra-career time (is this the adult analogue to “extracurricular”? It should be, just saying). This past weekend, I started on a little camper bed for the back of my Honda Fit, but I want to tackle more complex softgoods and woodworking projects. A little list of projects I’ve compiled that I’m very excited about:

softgoods

• topquilt

• drybags

• this ultralight backpack

woodworking

• camper bed for my car (in progress)

• a basic table (plywood with legs)

• bookshelf

• media console

• sofa

• there’s a lot more but i want to be reasonable here

action (physical activity)

Since moving back to Orange County, I’ve been forcing myself to run and (very occasionally) swim, both of which are activities I’ve generally disliked. Running is moderately tolerable now, and I run 2-3 times a week. I have to exercise at least a little every day or else my sleep quality sucks, so I mix it up with TRX, yoga, core circuits, or biking on the other days. I’m realizing more how much I’ve missed basketball, even the simple shooting aspect of it and how it can be great exercise. I haven’t played or shot regularly since my sophomore year of college, when my last pair of basketball shoes became unwearable. Finding basketball shoes that work for my feet has been painfully difficult (due to their stiff soles and inflexible uppers) in the past so I haven’t purchased a pair since then, but I think I finally found a pair that works. Looking forward to more morning / sunset shooting sessions and neighborhood pickup games.

Backpacking is another thing that’s crawling into my quarter-life crisis. As a nature-loving city kid, I went on many hikes and motel-crashing national park trips growing up, but never slept outside. I went on a real camping for the first time as a college student (unless you count camp tenting for Coachella), and probably not for real, for real, until after college. I love sleeping under the stars and the smoky warmth of campfires, but there is still a strong feeling of security and comfort in being able to carry a carload of things with you. Backpacking scares me because the idea of carrying everything you need for a few days sounds tiring and also potentially dangerous if under-prepared. Still, it’s something that I’ve always wanted to do and integrate into my weekend activities, and definitely makes for a good comfort zone challenge. I’ve “one-bagged” all my travels for about four years now so I think I’m up for it, just need to compile the right gear. Appropriate hiking shoes are a big issue.

Attempting to surf one more time is still on my list because it is a good challenge for my fear of water.

Getting toeside carves down is still on my list because of sheer desire to be a gnarly SoCal snowboarder.

reflection question

• What is a reflection question you want to ask yourself?

crimes / updates

life updates

• Saw Gallant live for the second time at The Roxy — still my favorite artist to see live. If you’re wondering why, watch the video above

• Finally visited The Museum of Natural History in LA and saw lots of cool bones

• Had a very special weekend in Seattle, saw my old homes, explored Capitol Hill, and experienced an uncharacteristically sunny weekend in February

• Shot black and white film for the first time in a long while and really missed those grainy textures

• Finalized an 11 day trip to Wyoming and Montana with my mom this summer—will spend some time in Glacier, Bozeman, and the Tetons

• Planning a family trip to Ireland / Scotland in July to visit grandma

• Also planning trip to Minnesota in August

• Randomly reading and writing more poetry but I have no idea what I’m doing

• Celebrated a truly wonderful year

• Bought this vintage Winnie the Pooh letterman jacket and the yellow makes me very happy

reflection question

• How has your impression or expectations of relationships changed over the course of your life?

does nostalgia have a color

does nostalgia have a color?
is it the blue of distant skies
the gold of a cloudless sunset?

/ does it matter that i've been here before
if it's my first time here with you? 

can i elicit the feelings i don't remember
through the taste of this specific corn chowder? 

when i choke up at a memory 

why do i feel like i've missed something...is it me? 
or is it pain

or is it regret

/ is it just contrast

i don't have the words anymore 
the rain washed me dry

but nostalgia has a color 

a 10 hour journey to the salton sea

cherry wine

life updates

• Covered Hozier’s “Cherry Wine” with my dear friend, embedded above

• Visited Salvation Mountain / Slab City on the way to the Salton Sea this past weekend. Took some shots on the Olympus XA4 and pretty excited to see how those come out

• Went to Big Bear for some more snowboarding a few weekends ago — still can’t consistently toeside carve but working on it

• Currently in a rabbit hole of learning about water systems and issues. Reading Water 4.0: The Past, Present, and Future of the World's Most Vital Resource by David Sedlak, and just finished The Poisoned City: Flint’s Water and the American Urban Tragedy by Anna Clark. I’m curious about water because it’s a life-critical resource that is going to be increasingly limited in supply as sources continue to get polluted and climate change shifts availability. I want to understand how governments regulate water and explore potential problem areas that can be tackled to ensure more protected and equitable use of freshwater.

• Headed up to Seattle this weekend—it’s always a nostalgia trip to return to the city I partially grew up in and see how things have changed. The weather is looking pretty standard Seattle winter (rain) but looking forward to food exploration, museums, memories, and spending time with some of my favorite people.

• Planning a 11 day trip to Montana and Wyoming in June

reflection questions

• What is an experience you have had that would make a good movie?

• What makes someone attractive to you?

• Who in your family are you most like?

rip

I stayed up, nearly all night yesterday, thinking about nostalgia. I planned to spend today writing about it, but was interrupted by a text from my brother this morning that simply said: "Kobe Bryant?!"

A brief Google search sunk my heart. I refreshed news pages, over and over and over, as if this was a situation in which I could demand a different result. I never could have prepared for this news, because to me, Kobe never felt human. He was immovable in the fact of basketball, a permanent fixture in the sport I have known and loved my whole life. I cannot claim to have been the biggest Lakers fan despite having lived in Los Angeles for a significant part of my life, but Kobe's "Mamba Mentality" transcended his fandom. The first time I watched Kobe's animated short, "Dear Basketball", I teared up because of the way he encapsulated his love for the sport—a love I, and countless others, have shared. Basketball was, without a doubt, my first love. Since the first shot I made in our mini home over-the-door hoop, I cherished the feeling of ball through net, of knowing a shot was going in before it even left my hand. In elementary school, it anchored me during lunch time when positive social interaction with my peers wasn't guaranteed. When we moved houses after my father's passing, I found refuge in the repetition of shots at the neighborhood cul-de-sac hoop, aiming to make a hundred after school before coming back for dinner. My strongest memories of feeling loved and accepted have been amongst teammates, united over a bond that couldn’t, and didn’t need to be, explained.

Basketball's accessibility makes it easy to love. It can be played alone or in a group, inside or outside, at any time of day. It is a sport that demands style and technique, humility and confidence. I grew up watching Michael Jordan on DVDs, Kobe and LeBron on TV, and sought to replicate their focus and drive in my own game. The basketball court was where I learned the value of dedication, the physical agony of constantly giving a hundred percent, the irreplaceable warmth of team bonds, the importance of focus, and how passion for something could fuel a soul. It never mattered that I wasn't the best. It mattered that I could play, that I could get better, and that the game would always there for me—to take away my worries and prove that the sound of a ball through a hoop would be the most reliable form of therapy. I didn't realize until today, but a love for basketball is almost inseparable from admiration for Kobe Bryant. We all love the game, but his love was palpable, transcendent, and inspired entire generations of athletes to give every shot and opportunity nothing less than everything we had. For some of us, he inspired without us even noticing—an ultimate testament to his legacy.

RIP Kobe

RIP Gigi, who I was excited to see grow as a player with profound talent and love for the game

RIP John, Keri, and Alyssa Altobelli, and all remaining unidentified victims

a new year journey to tahoe

blood bank / reading themes

I’ve been able to catch up with a few friends over the holidays and I got asked several times—what is your reading theme for this year? Although I’m generally aware of my reading themes, I’ve never mapped them out annually before, so here is a general list of the themes I tackled in 2018 (consciously), common themes that piqued my interest in 2019 (less consciously, I allowed myself to follow where my curiosities led last year), and what I plan on exploring in 2020.

reading themes 2018

• Food politics

• Meat industry

• Soil health in agriculture

• Fishing

reading themes 2019

• China’s recent political history

  • Cultural Revolution

  • Tiananmen

  • modern culture in China

  • Censorship

  • Technological development)

• Climate change

  • Psychology and denial

  • Feasible political responses

  • Potential outcomes (flooding, fires, natural disasters)

  • Migration and border security

  • Past “ends of the world”

• Racial and economic inequality in the US

• Short stories

• Memoirs

• Current political state of the US

reading themes 2020

• Urbanism (Inequality, segregation, how to build better cities?)

• Water (History of water rights, especially in the western US, how water is regulated, future of water in age of climate change)

• Immigration stories (Asia, Latin America)

• Maps and geographic history

• Food (How to build more secure food networks?)

• Surrealist fiction and short stories

other updates

• Played a lot of intense Spike Ball with family over the holidays

• Went snowboarding over Christmas and New Year and can occasionally toeside turn now. Going back up to Big Bear this weekend and excited to get more practice in

• Went to Tahoe for the first time and it was beautiful. I took a lot of medium format shots on the Mamiya, and am excited to get those scans back sometime next week

• Visited Sacramento for the first time. Was surprised by how un-Californian it felt, I think because I’ve never been to a city in California with a river running through it

• Saw my first meteor shower (kind of??)! The Quadrantids happened while in Tahoe and saw a few of them! It was more anticlimactic than expected but the skies were beautiful

• Can almost play Cherry Wine properly on the guitar

• Read Chanel Miller’s Know My Name and was entirely wrecked by it

• Bought some matcha and was gifted a matcha tea set over the holidays. Excited to make some oat milk matcha lattes

reflection questions

• When was the last time you pushed yourself out of your comfort zone?

• What are you seeking?

love you for a long time / new year goals

I wrote a few years ago that I didn't like New Year Resolutions because it makes it seem like change can only occur at arbitrary milestones like a new year. I still think that's true, but years are easy to keep track of, easy to reflect on, and natural pivot points for change, especially now that I don't have the school year cycle to rely on. 

In 2018, I wrote that in 2019, I wanted to: 

• Write more

  • I think I did pretty well with this. I started a "writing coalition" with two high school friends and we were pretty good about meeting for at least the first half of 2019. I wrote a lot of therapeutic pieces about love and loss, and became more comfortable sharing vulnerable pieces of work, especially informal vulnerable pieces, with people close to me

• Read 60 books

  • I just finished my 125th book! This exercise made me realize how much time I could put to good use throughout the day. Instead of scrolling through social media endlessly, I try to direct that time towards reading, even if it’s just a few minutes. It has helped me develop a longer attention span and a stronger awareness of time while enabling lots of interesting learning

I was hesitant about including too many ambitious goals in December of 2018 because I wasn't in the best place emotionally, but it's comforting to know that I accomplished much more than I thought possible, in a variety different ways.

For next year, some personal goals include: 

JANUARY - FEBRUARY 

• Get consistent on snowboard toe-side carves 

• Start building things again! I’m working on designing a camper bed / storage setup in the back of my Honda Fit for extended road trips

FEBRUARY - MARCH 

• Learn basic automotive repair and maintenance — oil change, flat tires, common engine issues, etc.

MAY - JUNE

• Do 2 of the California Six-Pack of Peaks (I want to do more but I have had some knee injuries this past year and don’t want to overkill)

• Yosemite?

JULY - AUGUST

• Go surfing one more time

SEPTEMBER

• Roadtrip to Arizona, Utah, up to Wyoming and Montana, across to Washington, down to Oregon, and back home. I really want to see the Grand Tetons, Glacier National Park, all the unique landscapes of Utah, and go back to Oregon

• Shoot lots of sweet, sweet medium format film during this trip 

THROUGHOUT THE YEAR

• Read 44 books. I learned an incredible amount from my aggressively continuous book consumption this year, but I want to be more mindful of the time I spent learning vs doing, and spend more time out in the world working on tactile skills and working towards change I believe in

• Get involved in Citizens Climate Lobby and other volunteer opportunities in the local area

• More musical engagement — I want to pick up learning percussive guitar again, and continue practicing pipa, piano, and drums regularly

• Not spend any money on the categories I outlined in my previous post 

other updates

• I got my car, Gari, tinted! Last summer was pretty miserably hot every time I got into my car since I park my car outside. 55% in the front, 15% in the back. Since summers are just getting worse, seemed worth the investment.

• Found a makerspace, Urban Workshop, in OC that offers monthly access to a wide variety of tools. Will be using them as my camper car build plans come together (thank you 🐨)

• Made vegan pot pie for Friendsgiving and it was quite good, would recommend this recipe

• Excited to see some long distance friends over the holidays and upcoming month

• Mobile garden is going quite well. There’s little kale leaves coming in!

reflection questions

• What makes you feel loved?

• If you could ensure that you accomplish one thing in the new year, what would it be?

creature comforts / more materialism, less materialism

materialism

Alright, if you know me in real life you probably already know that I’m weirdly into backpacks. Some of the most exciting days of childhood for me were the days I got a new backpack for school. I can tell you my lineup of backpacks from Kindergarten onward (not that you asked):

• Jansport Superbreak (K-3rd grade)

• Jansport Airlift (2x, I used the same model from 4th through 9th grade) - I was excessively hyped about the honeycomb cushioning in the straps

• OGIO toploader (I carefully selected and purchased this based on its feature list from a catalog in 2nd grade, but it turned out to be adult sized and I never ended up actually using it because it was roughly half my size)

• Jansport Right Pack (10th)

• The North Face Mondaze (11th - junior year college)

• Topo Designs Mountain Briefcase / Klettersack ( junior year college - now)

On my first day of mentoring for a product design program at MIT, we were asked to present on our favorite product and how it inspired us to pursue design. I presented every detail of my TNF backpack and what I liked and disliked about it (a lot of people presented their phones, since Apple products seem to be a common gateway). Backpacks have always been an integral part of my interest in design. Over the years, experimentation and research on all sorts of bags have led me to a specific list of criteria of what I look for in backpacks (why does this sound like dating?)

backpack criteria

• Waist strap compatibility (swappable with a specific padded hip belt that I like from Tom Bihn)

• Comfortable shoulder straps for long wear (ideally has sternum and lift loader straps)

• Somewhat expandable capacity — feels okay when it’s empty but can handle larger loads (ie. blankets, big cameras, puffy jackets, etc)

• Durable materials and construction

• Decent organization pockets

• Multipoint entry (ie. zip entry for rolltop or other ways of accessing laptop compartment)

• Suspended laptop compartment

• Subtle design — I’m not a fan of strong branding or a really distinctive look (except for my bright yellow Topo Designs bag, I guess)

• Rigid, padded back panel (ideally not the spongey porous stuff that absorbs sweat…more dense foam, just for back ventilation)

• Bottom compartment for packable jackets, shoes, or anything stuffable

• Side water bottle compartment (not sure how necessary this is because I end up holding my water bottle the majority of the time)

bags i’ve tried: 

• Peak Design 20L (sold in 2018)

• Waist strap - built in (unpadded) but usable

• Comfortable shoulder straps - yes

• Somewhat expandable capacity - no (rigid organization made this unusable as a travel bag but solid as a camera bag. I don’t have big camera kits so this was not suitable)

• Durable materials and construction - yes

• Decent organization pockets - yes

• Multipoint entry - yes

• Suspended laptop compartment - yes

• Subtle design - SF bro vibe was not my thing

• Rigid padded back panel - yes

• Bottom compartment - no

• Side water bottle compartment - yes

• Evergoods CPL24 (sold in 2019)

  • Waist strap - no (dealbreaker, it turns out)

  • Comfortable shoulder straps - yes

  • Somewhat expandable capacity - no

  • Durable materials and construction - yes

  • Decent organization pockets - no

  • Multipoint entry - no

  • Suspended laptop compartment - yes

  • Subtle design - military vibe not my thing

  • Rigid padded back panel - yes

  • Bottom compartment - no

  • Side water bottle compartment - no

• YNOT Magnetica (sold in 2018)

  • Waist strap - yes

  • Comfortable shoulder straps - no

  • Somewhat expandable capacity - yes, but too much. Was way too large for most public spaces and therefore pretty impractical for travel

  • Durable materials and construction - kinda

  • Decent organization pockets - no

  • Multipoint entry - no

  • Suspended laptop compartment - yes

  • Subtle design - yes

  • Rigid padded back panel - yes

  • Bottom compartment - no

  • Side water bottle compartment - yes

• Tom Bihn Synapse 19 (sold in 2017)

  • Waist strap - yes

  • Comfortable shoulder straps - yes

  • Somewhat expandable capacity - no

  • Durable materials and construction - yes

  • Decent organization pockets - yes. Best organization I’ve seen on a bag

  • Multipoint entry - no

  • Suspended laptop compartment - yes, but only fit 13 inch laptops which was impractical for work

  • Subtle design - yes? It kind of looks like a turtle shell

  • Rigid padded back panel - no. This ended up being really annoying because random things would poke into my back.

  • Bottom compartment - yes. I realized how much I liked that feature from this bag. Great for packable jackets, snacks, shoes, etc.

  • Side water bottle compartment - no, but it had a sweet center balanced water bottle pocket that was awesome.

• Topo Designs Klettersack

  • Waist strap - yes

  • Comfortable shoulder straps - yes

  • Somewhat expandable capacity - yes

  • Durable materials and construction - yes

  • Decent organization pockets - yes

  • Multipoint entry - no. One of my major gripes with this bag and why it doesn’t work for daily use. The drawstring top is great for security while traveling but pretty annoying to get in and out of quickly.

  • Suspended laptop compartment - no. Poorly padded laptop compartment but also doesn’t fit a 15 in laptop with a sleeve.

  • Subtle design - not subtle, but the bright yellow color makes me happy.

  • Rigid padded back panel - no. Second major gripe. It doesn’t hold shape well when it’s empty, and also the waist straps end up being useless unless there’s a laptop in there.

  • Bottom compartment - no

  • Side water bottle compartment - yes, but not functional for that purpose. Good for cell phone, snacks, tripod, etc.

• Topo Designs Stack Pack

  • Waist strap - no

  • Comfortable shoulder straps - no

  • Somewhat expandable capacity - no

  • Durable materials and construction - yes

  • Decent organization pockets - yes, great for rectangular things because of it’s shape and design

  • Multipoint entry - no

  • Suspended laptop compartment - no

  • Subtle design — yes

  • Rigid padded back panel - no

  • Bottom compartment - no

  • Side water bottle compartment - yes, but also not functional.

other bags i’ve considered in my years of backpack rabbit holing

• DSPTCH Daypack

  • No waist strap compatibility

  • Tech bro vibe not my thing

• WANDRD PRVKE 21/31

  • The marketing irritates me and it’s a well-known camera bag at this point which might be more theft-prone

• GoRuck GR1

  • Military aesthetic not my thing

  • No waist strap compatibility

• ILE Default

  • The laptop compartment isn’t against the back panel which is weird to me… seems like poor weight distribution

• AER SF Travel Bag

  • SF tech bro vibe not my thing

Beyond the standard backpack, I have a packable daypack, a more professional tote bag, a camera bag / messenger / small daypack, and duffel gear bag / car camping bag.  Does this sound excessive? The average American woman owns 11 handbags (not that I, at all, aspire to be an average American woman). I own 6 bags that I use regularly, and I’ve traveled backpack-only for the last 4 years (is this justification?)

Anyway… I’ve considered designing and sewing my own bag because I’m so particular about them but that seemed like a long road with lots of wasted material so I eventually gave up and settled on a rotation of bags that worked for very specific purposes. The Topo Designs Klettersack is what I need 85% of the time. I put up with the lack of accessibility and annoyingly unstructured back panel because it’s a high quality bag that serves a wide variety of travel purposes even as it doesn’t quite work for daily use. I wasn’t looking for a new bag, but came across Burton’s line of bags at an REI recently and was intrigued. I get asked for school bag recommendations often, and I usually recommend Burton despite never having owned one because they are relatively affordable for quality bags, have a lifetime warranty, have a variety of different designs/colors for different purposes, are now a Certified B Corp, and have pretty demonstrated commitment to sustainability. I saw one marketed as a bike commuter bag, and started going down my list…

• Waist strap compatibility (swappable with a specific padded hip belt that I like from TB) ✓

• Comfortable shoulder straps for long wear (ideally has sternum and lift loader straps) ✓✓✓!!!

• Somewhat expandable capacity — feels okay when it’s empty but can handle larger loads ✓

• Durable materials and construction ✓

• Decent organization pockets ✓

• Multipoint entry (ie. zip entry for rolltop or other ways of accessing laptop compartment) ✓✓✓!!!

• Suspended laptop compartment ✓

• Subtle design — I’m not a fan of strong branding ✓

• Rigid padded back panel (ideally not the spongey stuff, more dense foam, just for back ventilation) ✓

• Bottom compartment for jackets, shoes, or anything stuffable ✓

• Side water bottle compartment (not sure how necessary this is because I end up holding my water bottle the majority of the time) x

How interesting. Black Friday / Cyber Monday weekend rolled around, I kept my eye on coupons and deals, and managed to snag it at a decent price…

Nice, plain, unmemorable design.

Side zipper access to main compartment!! Why don’t all backpacks have this?

Waterproof bottom compartment for stuffable things!

Compatible with my padded waist belt! Number one criteria.

I’m hoping this will finally be the bag that serves 95% of all my bag use purposes (very optimistic thus far). The lack of a water bottle compartment doesn’t seem like it’ll be a big deal because none of the water bottle compartments on my current bags are functional. I think it’s funny that after years of following backpack design news and trying out a lot of highly-hyped Kickstarter bags, it’s an unknown, unreviewed bag from a snowboarding company that ends up meeting the criteria for what I need. I will keep my yellow Topo bag for all the lovely memories and sweet patches, and use it for the occasional day hike, but will likely retire it from travel use. The green Topo bag will go up for sale as I’m trying to keep it at 6 bags (6 cameras, 6 bags, seems reasonable... right? Don’t answer that.)

non-materialism

Okay, now that I’ve gotten all of that material obsession out of the way…

With more end of the year reflection comes thinking through next year’s goals. There’s many facets to what I accomplish next year, but I think a lot of will be dependent on what I spend my time doing and how I use various resources. I will eventually write more about what that means, but this will be a reflection on what I don’t want to do (rather, what I don’t want to spend time and money on).

As someone who has had a lifelong interest in product design, I can get really roped into details and optimizing things in my daily life. I spend a lot of time reading product reviews and understanding nuanced design decisions that really make me appreciate well-crafted products. I think this attention to detail has been beneficial to my professional life, especially when I worked in consulting and having a robust understanding of the lay of the material land was an advantage. Throughout the last few years, however, I’ve struggled a lot in balancing my passion for sustainability, a general distaste for excessive consumption (while still sometimes falling into the trap), and my interest in thoughtful design. I’ve tried to balance it by being incredibly rigorous in my research process before buying things and planning purchases for the long term rather than going for more affordable, disposable items. Still, at a certain point, a lot of what I buy is unnecessary, and I would like to be even more mindful of my consumption of material things. I think I’m pretty good about buying things for demonstrated need and practicality and buying used, but I can end up in a similar loop of consumption because I’m eager to optimize the things I own and I have a high bar for what practical means to me (consumption through minimalism?). It’s honestly an endless process, and there will always be things to nitpick about. I’m tired of spending mindless time subconsciously hunting for the next best thing. I’m happy with everything I have now and I just want to leave it at that.

To hold myself accountable, I’m putting my off-limits list for 2020 here:

I will not spend on:

• Backpacks (honestly my biggest weakness…I bought and sold 4 backpacks in 2019)

• Cameras (my second biggest weakness…I bought 1 camera and sold 10 in 2019 though, so this should be easy now)

• Clothing / shoes unless for a very specific purpose—consider borrowing or repurposing first

• Pens

• Audio equipment (unless something breaks)

• Electronics (unless my phone dies)

• Keyboards

• Blankets

• Desk accessories

I will thoughtfully spend on:

• Experiences

• Equipment that enables memorable experiences or encourages healthy habits (necessary camping / outdoor / exercise related gear)

• Film / development

• Food / life necessities

• Gifts

• Healthcare / skincare

• Information / learning (news subscriptions, books if unavailable through libraries or other networks)

• Interesting personal projects

• New journal if I finish using my current one

• Tea

• Plants / gardening things

I plan to approach this in a few ways:

• Stop reading product review sites for cameras, tech, backpacks, outdoor gear — this, more than anything, is what gets me hyped on cool things / cool design. I no longer work in the product design space so this doesn’t benefit me in any way anymore. Instead, I want to direct time and attention to better understanding software UX trends (actually relevant to job now) and reading more books

• Spend more time taking pictures — feel okay about spending money on film and development as it encourages me to practice photography, something that has been demonstrably helpful for my general wellbeing, sense of fulfillment, and attachment to my surroundings

• Spend more time outside / exercising / developing new skills — I bike, run, and TRX regularly now but I want to work longboarding into that rotation just to work different muscle groups and practice balance. I learned to ride goofy with a back leg kick when I started skating as a kid, so the goal is now to be able to skate regular and push mongo in either stance so I can alternate for balance. I also want to get better at pumping (propelling a longboard through motion instead of kicking, kinda like those RipStiks) so I can kick less on flatground.

This is both a mindfulness, constraint, and sustainability exercise as well as one that encourages me to continue building long-term financial stability and spend more time on valuable skill development.

I think this concludes the second (and last?) of my back-to-back material based blog posts. Will be back to the usual thoughts on books and photos from outdoor adventures soon. :)

reflection question

• What are some goals you’ve started thinking about as New Year Resolutions?

home (room / camera tour)

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, an ongoing list of things I'm thankful for:

• Loving and supportive relationships

• Proximity to family and quality time

• A job I'm excited about that enables me flexibility to do things that I care about

• Living in a lovely space in the beautiful (bubble) of Orange County

• Earth

• Health

• Feeling safe

• Feeling loved

As the year draws to a slow close and pieces of my life feel like they're falling more into place, I have been meaning to make more time to reflect on the parts of my life that I haven't had the bandwidth to address lately.

In order to do that, I wanted to first think about what pieces falling into place meant on a more detailed level. In 2019, these are some things I feel like I got a better grasp on:

• Prioritizing mental health and doing what's right for me instead of what's expected of me

• A variety of job exploration this year has given me a better sense of career goals and the role my job plays in the larger context of my everyday life

• Building a routine that enables me to spend time on what's meaningful to me

• How to read a lot of books / process information without it overtaking my life

• Enabling positive relationships that inspire growth and a strong sense of emotional stability and support

• Understanding my role in the world and what kind of impact I want to have

• Unlearning a lot of ingrained biases and consistently working towards more open-mindedness and empathy

• Designing a rejuvenating personal / work space that makes home feel like home

Happy corner of lovely books and some favorite memories.

Standing desk for the remote work life.

Is this functional wall art?

40% ortholinear keyboard! Programmable shortcuts and small form factor make design work a lot easier for me and typing more fun in general.

And as I look forward towards 2020, these are some of the things I've started thinking about:

• Developing more creative agency in photography and a strengthening my voice in writing

• Continue to learn in all aspects that pique my curiosity, but also prioritizing taking action and community involvement in addressing problems that I care about

• Continuing to embrace vulnerability and discomfort

As time has become more of a limited resource with a full-time job, I have also thought about the things in my life that I find most fulfilling, things that inevitably make my day when they happen:

• Spending meaningful time with loved ones

• Getting a roll of film developed and seeing images that come out as beautifully as the scene I sought to capture

• Putting words to paper that successfully express a complex emotion or story

• Gaining more insight into a nuanced problem and learning new perspectives

The most satisfying way to write on paper.

Endless stream of library books for knowledge and perspective building.

These are both likely just the beginning of long lists, but the points about photography are something that I have been thinking about a lot lately. I started my photography journey in high school on a series of pocket rangefinder cameras that quickly became integral to the way that I interacted with my surroundings. As my relationship with documentation changed, I've tried all sorts of cameras and tools, sometimes out of curiosity for old technology, sometimes because their optical qualities resonate with the way I perceive the world around me. When Flickr was still used, I kept favorites folders with inspirational images from others—almost always shot on film. When I went through them to examine the equipment used, were inevitably from a select few cameras: Olympus XA, Leica M series, Mamiya 6 or 7, Hasselblad 500, or a Contax point and shoot. It was eventually clear to me what I valued as I continued to curate images—layered depth of field, sharp contrast, warm lighting, slight vignetting, and the unquantifiable film aesthetic.

I became a lot less systematic in photo studies as years went on, and in retrospect, would stumble into traps of "gear acquisition syndrome," although hopefully a lot less than the average photographer. There were a few years where I transitioned completely to digital, adopting a full frame Canon 6D system to be more of a "legitimate" photographer. I did more paid shoots than ever during that time, but felt increasingly, that my photography had lost its soul. I've bought a sold four digital cameras since then, each time convincing myself that digital was a way to try out different focal lengths, shootings styles, and editing styles simply. On the side, I shot a Polaroid Land 450, a massive folding instant camera (probably the size of a textbook).

I miss pack film so much :(

Not subtle, but I actually carried this around on a daily basis because I loved the images so much. It didn't occur to me then that the times I learned most about creating images were the times I brought this brick out to shoot or on long film-only trips. My favorite images, other than stargazing photos, from my journey through the UK and Canada a year ago, are undoubtedly the film shots. The digital photos mostly sit untouched on a hard drive. I sold my last professional digital camera kit earlier this year and cannot think of a single moment where I have missed it. I've shot every trip this year with my M2 or Olympus XA4, and it's been entirely liberating. I feel like I've embraced a visual style that I appreciate, but haven't been able to challenge myself with different formats or aspect ratios. I'm happy with the images I create, but feel like I've fallen into a pattern of photographs that are not necessarily challenging my eye. This isn't necessarily about equipment, but I've decided to try 6x6 medium format shooting more seriously: I bought a Mamiya 6 earlier this week. I sold my Rolleicord, Olympus Trip 35, Pentax ME Super, and original Olympus XA. I now have only 5 film cameras (6 if you count instant…)! “Only” is subjective, I know. I had probably more than 25 at some point, so this is progress.

Canon QL17 GIII - I got this in Hong Kong after the shutter on my Leica failed. It’s a sweet little rangefinder camera that I use when the Leica is too hefty but I want more control than the Olympus XA4, or when I want a 40mm focal length. Also the prices on these things keep climbing.

Minolta SRT-101 - This was gifted to me by family and I haven’t actually had a chance to use it yet. I don’t typically shoot SLR’s, but ability to frame more precisely and the 50mm f/1.4 lens would be sweet for when I eventually get around to practicing portraiture.

Mamiya 6 - Newest member of the family! Looking for some medium format square landscapes. Honestly just very excited to shoot with a real MF camera. I loved my Rolleicord but that thing was a pain to actually use.

Olympus XA4 - My every day carry camera. It can expose weirdly sometimes in high contrast lighting conditions but nothing beats the size to image quality ratio on this thing.

Leica M2 - This is the most tactilely satisfying chunk of metal I’ve ever used. I can’t actually afford Leica glass but the 7Artisans 35mm f/2 has been serving me well thus far. My back hates it whenever I bring this with me but the photos make it all worth it.

One of my favorite parts of my room is the amount of natural light I get during the day and waking up to a sunrise. I’m trying to better about recognizing good portrait lighting and practicing with it (Does anyone want to do a portrait shoot?). I don’t love self-portraiture because I find looking into lenses nerve wracking, so here’s some eye contact avoidance and nice bedroom light.

other updates

• Going on a weekend trip to Seattle in February

• Finished 123 books (loved Bluets by Maggie Nelson) which means I will definitely make 125 by the end of 2019. Maybe I should be going for 130?

• Have really been enjoying biking lately

• Mobile garden is growing decently well!

reflection questions

• What are you thankful for?

• What are small things you do to make your home feel more like home?