short truth

It's one of those new year posts! I'm not big on new year resolutions; I'm a pretty firm believer that if you want to make change in your life, it can start at any point in the year, week, or day. This will be more a reflection of what's happened this year, and what the next year will bring. 

I started off 2016 at my friend's house in South Pasadena, watching the delayed ball drop and drinking apple cider. Since then, I've moved to Irvine, and no longer have the luxury of being minutes away from my high school friends. I spent my January term interning at a software company in San Francisco as a user experience designer, and learned a bit about web design. Living in SF was an interesting experience, although I definitely cannot imagine living there for an extended amount of time. My spring semester of junior was a wreck both academically and emotionally. I felt suffocated by it all, but managed to land an internship in design consulting, which had been my dream since early sophomore year. I dragged myself through the semester, ending the year with sickness and a brutal cough. I made drastic changes in the beginning of summer, feeling alive again for the first time in months, and gaining further insight to what mattered to me in life - the most important being health. As a result, I spent the summer in Somerville enjoying life immensely. I learned how to play guitar, read often, cooked new foods, watched a lot of Planet Earth, and regained motivation as a photographer. I visited NYC a few times, and spent a lot of time with people that I truly value. I was involved in a crazy car accident and suffered a concussion, although luckily nothing worse than that. Fall semester of senior year was unexpectedly rewarding - I learned much about leadership, user research, writing, and medical anthropology. I made time for the relationships I valued, and felt consistently happy and healthy in my personal life, with some exceptions. The process and results of the presidential election (the first I was able to vote in) was incredibly draining, but I feel like I have a much better grasp of this country I live in. I have excitement and fear that will follow me into 2017, and confusion about how to deal with them. Despite these fears, I also carry a deeper appreciation for those in my life (which if you're reading this, is you). So thank you for being part of my 2016 journey!

Looking back, I've realized that a year is an incredibly long time, and I have no idea where I will be a year from now. As I stand in the face of graduation, there have never been so many unknowns. Where will I be living? Where will I be working? What will this country look like? What will I be doing to help? I cannot predict any of these things, but I know that I'll be making an active effort to improve what I can around me. Despite the chaos, 2016 has been a year of simplification for me, and I hope to continue distilling as we move into the new year. 

rising water

 

 It’s been quite a chaotic week, if not month, for the majority of this country. I have many feelings about the election, most of them along the lines of fear, confusion, and anger. This post won’t be about the election directly, but something I’ve been forced to think about even more as a result of the election. The future of our environment is more uncertain than ever with the impending changes in D.C., and I’m beginning to think more about the impact individuals can make to help our planet. If you’re thinking, I don’t want to read about this hippy stuff, or something like that… I’m not sure what to say to you, except that it’s the responsibility of each individual to think critically about challenging the status quo, especially living in this mind-bogglingly wasteful country. 
 
 I’m not preaching. This is as much a personal exploration for me as it is a way to share the information I already know. I’m wasteful in many ways, many of which I could be completely unaware of. I think that’s usually the main problem - we’re so accustomed to what we’ve grown up around that we don’t see anything wrong with what we’re doing. We proceed, believing that we’re all entitled to the same indulgences that we witness, not questioning where things come from, or where things go. Certain things are okay because “everyone else does it too”. We comfort ourselves by emphasizing that we are 1 in 7 billion, and nothing we do can possibly make a difference in relieving the planet of the pressure of human existence. Yet, most of us seek to make a difference in the world one day. To me, it only makes sense that this difference starts with our daily habits. I’m not the most sustainable person I know, nor necessarily the most environmentally aware, but I’ll outline some of the things I want to do or already actively do to reduce my own environmental impact.
 
 I’ll talk about diet first because that’s what I’m most familiar with. I have been vegan since I was 8 years old for health reasons, that have also accumulated environmental reasons in recent years. Livestock is responsible for 7.2 gigatons of CO2 emissions each year, which is nearly 15% of all human greenhouse gas emissions. For each kilogram of beef protein, 300 kg of CO2 is released. Additionally, cows produce 44% of human methane emissions, and methane can warm the planet about 86 times more than CO2 while it’s in the atmosphere. Pigs and chicken have less impact, but still require about 100 kg of CO2 per kg of protein. For comparison, tofu requires about 16 kg CO2 per kg of protein. There’s people out there who blame vegetarians/vegans for the deforestation in South America to make land for soy production… what they may not realize, however, is that 75% of the soy grown (in 2011) was used for animal feed, and 6% is used for human food. Instead of eating the animals that consume the soy for protein, we can eat the plant protein directly. 
 
 In addition to eating a plant based diet, trying to purchase locally grown produce is beneficial to the environment because it reduces transportation cost and energy to move the produce. Eating organic reduces toxic chemical waste from pesticides and fertilizer.   
  
Eliminating food waste, composting, bringing your own bags to the grocery store, using a reusable water bottle (+ BPA free), and buying foods with less packaging can also help. In terms of daily habits, choosing to walk/bike instead of taking a car, taking shorter showers, turning off lights when you’re not using them, and recycling when possible are all beneficial. 

Speaking of recycling - while it is definitely good to reuse and recycle, recycling is also an energy intensive process. Instead of using products (plastic water bottles, paper, disposable items) and assuming it is fine because those items will be recycled, it can be valuable to think about how to not use these products at all. Most actions that are done out of convenience can be easily altered to include reusable items. 

Speaking of disposable items, I’ve recently started thinking about the environmental impact of feminine hygiene products. While these products are mostly cotton/rayon based, the disposable plastic packaging can definitely take a toll. The aversion to talking about periods may be part of the reason why disposable products are the standard - people want to just be able to throw them away and not think about it ever again, which makes sense. It’s a bit weird considering this is something half the globe has to deal with, which makes me think that reusable options, such as menstrual cups or reusable pads actually make a lot more sense. 

I read a book called Overdressed: The Shockingly High Cost of Cheap Fashion by Elizabeth Cline this past week, which presented unbelievable data about how much global impact our clothing has. When this book was written (2012), the US consumed 20 billion garments a year, which is 64 items per person - more than 1 piece of clothing per week. It’s the second largest consumer sector, right behind food. As a result, Americans throw away 12.7 million tons of textiles per year, which is 68 lbs per person. In 1950, the world made 10 million tons of fiber a year. In 2012 - 82 million tons. That requires 125 million tons of coal and about 2 trillion gallons of water. Zara alone produces 1 million garments per day, and the customers there shop an average of 17 times per year. While it might sound insane on paper, the rate at which we’re capable at consuming clothing is incredible. There is a focus on cheap clothing - H&M, Target, Forever21 - and these companies can afford to make clothes cheap because they’re making small profit margins on huge numbers. They thrive on making cheap, poor-quality clothes with factories that pay workers minimum wage, which is lower than living wage (cost to survive) in many countries. The book also describes a “clothing deficit myth”, which is the idea that all of our clothes, when donated, goes to some poor person who really needs it. In reality, 20% of post-consumer clothing becomes fiber for building materials, 30% for industrial rags, and 5% is thrown away. There’s not really a need for clothing in the world anymore, and if there is, it isn’t for the poor quality clothes that we’re burning through. To address this problem, we need to stop believing that all the clothes we purchase is put to effective use after get rid of it. 

Even as someone who consumes relatively little clothing, this book still shook me. Clothing is not something we can just ignore, so I began looking into more sustainable clothing brands. Yes, many of them are more expensive, but when I consider the workers that made it, quality of the item, and decreased environmental impact, I find it justifiable, if possible. If not, trying to find higher quality cheap clothing and making it last as long as possible by taking good care of it and purchasing versatile pieces that will be worn often is another way of addressing this problem. A few brands that I have looked at and find admirable include Patagonia, United by Blue, and Cotopaxi. There are other companies that aren’t as charitable as those ones, but still sell high quality, long lasting, or ethically produced clothes - American Giant, DL1961, PACT, prAna, etc. 

That's all I have for now, although I expect the themes of sustainability and consumption will continue to come up for me as I continue to examine the impact our daily choices can make. 

If you're wondering about the title of this post, I saw James Vincent McMorrow this week, and "Rising Water" reminds me of climate change.

If you're wondering about the title of this post, I saw James Vincent McMorrow this week, and "Rising Water" reminds me of climate change.

the list goes on

I don’t pretend to know more about current events than I do, and I definitely don’t know as much as I should. I struggle to keep up, and admittedly, sometimes I turn a blind eye to avoid thinking about the cold hard facts. This is a privilege I have, and a privilege I recognize. 

Attacks in Baghdad, Bangladesh, Afghanistan, Syria, Iraq, Nigeria, Somalia, Turkey, and France in July alone should convey the chaos of the world, but do not even begin to scratch the surface of everything that is wrong. Social equality, racial tensions, poverty, terrorism—these terms do not convey the sense of hopelessness felt by people everywhere, nor do these terms come close to covering the plethora of issues prevalent on this planet. I’m not the best source of this type of information, and I don’t claim to be, so I’ll leave this as it is. 

This weekend, my classmate, Drew Esquivel, was killed on the street by a drunk driving NYPD officer. I didn’t know Drew well, but I had been around him long enough to put a personality to the name, and I cannot shake the sense of loss. This was the same feeling I had when my multivariable calculus classmate, Phoebe Wang, lost her life during the first semester of sophomore year. This was how I felt freshman year of high school, when a senior, Aydin Salek, lost his life. These names haunt me, because glimmers of their personalities are etched into my brain. Like many others who have had their lives even briefly scraped by these individuals (and countless others), I can only wish I had the privilege of knowing them more—to wonder about their lives, their interests, their deepest thoughts, their biggest dreams. 

Maybe it is the location, the social proximity, the timing, or the fact that it was completely driven by another individual’s blind stupidity, but I cannot get the incident out of my head. I’ve had important lives taken from me “before their time.” I grew up immersed in loss, yet this seems so different. I’ve always tried to live by the philosophy to never save things for the “right” moment, to never take things for granted, to never miss an opportunity to show people how much they mean to me, to be kind to people even if there isn’t a “reason” to be. And although I’ve been able to do all of these things to an extent, they now seem so inadequate. I’ve never lived in a time when a missed call or slow text responses send me into slight panicked thoughts. I’ve never dreaded the loading of the news page or worried so much about people not immediately in my proximity. I’m a believer that positive thoughts hold some sort of power, but it’s becoming harder and harder to maintain these thoughts with everything that is happening. Sometimes I just have to stop and take deep breaths (and splurge my thoughts of how much people mean to me at them, hoping that they’ll realize even a fraction of what I feel). 

The most overwhelming part of this is that this was one incident that affected me so much because it was too close for comfort. However, there are incidents every day, all over the world. Some of them undocumented, some of them lost in flurry of what media deems most important, some of them completely overlooked. There are shootings, bombings, murders, and these are only the issues that remove lives from earth. There are diseases, gross inequalities, hateful attacks, poverty issues, environmental issues, structural issues…the list goes on. The list goes on. And that’s what feels the most helpless. No matter what issues we decide to focus on or put on efforts towards or even spend a moment of our days thinking about, there is always more. The list goes on. 

I didn’t write this to find solace, although I was hoping it would sort out some of my relentless stream of thoughts. I don’t think it did, but that’s okay. I am not looking away from the cold hard facts right now. 

For now, all I can do is truly cherish every moment of the people around me. To take the time and effort to really get to know people as individuals, to see what makes each person unique, and to truly sense how much the world would lose without them here. 

So to the people reading this, and I know who you are, I love you. You are each meaningful to me in drastically different ways, but each of you have supported me, believed in me, loved me, and had some part in getting me to where I am today. I can only hope to have done (and continue to do the same) for each of you.