2022 wrap up

And with that, another year is basically over. Compared with 2021, 2022 was quiet and stable. No long roadtrips up the coast, no 100 mile bike rides, no extensive adventures in other states. The adventures felt more internal, mostly executed from home — long hours at the sewing machine perfecting new sewing techniques, sunset skate sessions at the local parking lots. I spent a lot of my energy in 2022 figuring out what I actually wanted to spend my energy on.

Earlier this year, I wrote a couple of self reminders in my journal that have stuck with me.

• “How we spend our days is of course how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour and that one is what we are doing.” - Annie Dillard

• Don’t cut out passions — leads to “phantom limb pain”. Make room to pursue the things that bring you joy. Nourish the things close you yourself and your self-identity.

So with those in mind, some of the things I was very happy with this year:

• Developing a lot more confidence in my sewing ability — to take design requirements and translate them into something usable that I can make. I hope to continue pushing on those skills and develop more complex 3D patterns and more organic shapes.

• Building a complete bicycle up from the frame. It is incredibly rewarding to know exactly how each part was assembled and how. I installed the fork, cut the head tube with a hack saw, installed the bottom bracket, and installed/adjusted the derailleur—everything that used to intimidate me.

• Getting over the mental age barrier and embracing skateboarding again. My main regret is that I didn’t start back up earlier, but developing new skills and tricks has been critical to my sense of fulfillment day-to-day. In many ways, it’s can be an ideal suburb sport, where the challenge isn’t with the elevation gained or distance covered, but the physical coordination of being able to do something new.

• Putting in the time and effort to learn a new language. It’s nice to feel my brain working in a new way.

• Dedicating the time to continue to build and strengthen both old and new relationships. I was happy that I generally had the time and emotional energy to be present for those that I love and care about.

Until next year!

P.S. Book recommendations from 2022 — Pachinko (yeah, I’m a couple years late) and The Winners by Fredrik Backman.

wearing things, part ii /

I’ve returned this website to dark mode. I was reading a book about sustainable web design and realized that albeit small (relatively), certain decisions can make a big difference in terms of climate impact. Inverting my website colors is a very, very tiny act in the grand scheme of things, but still matters in terms of intention.

Intention is something that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. Intention in communication, intention in time, intention in decisions, intention in design. Intention can really be applied to anything.

The intention of my blog is a transparent space where I share my reflections on a wide variety of different topics, for whoever wants to engage with it.

As reflected in my last post, I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about the intention of the items that I own, how they serve my perception of myself and how I interact with the world. I’ve been on a half-year-long overhaul of my wardrobe to turn it from a random collection of individual items into something coherent.

The average woman has around 19 pairs of shoes, according to Google, which made me feel better about having 15, which I already felt like was a lot. I’ve struggled with finding comfortable shoes. Due to plantar fasciitis and flat feet, it is rare to find shoes flexible enough to not result in arch cramps but cushioned enough not to bruise my feet. I’ve gone through so many different kinds of shoes, but have finally arrived at a set of shoes that allows me to do what I enjoy, respect dress codes, and fit in with the intention of cohesion in my wardrobe.

Starter pack

These are the set of shoes that would get me through 80% of daily life. A pair of laced black chunky boots, Chuck Taylors, and Birkenstocks. It is basic AF, but I’m covered for all seasons and all casual use cases.

outdoor expansion

These are the shoes that enable me comfortably and safely take on various outdoor activities—hiking boots, basketball shoes, running shoes, and stiffer shoes for cycling. I’ve tried to minimize this before, using a single pair of cross-trainers to encompass all activities. While it satisfied the minimalist intention and they were decent all -around, they weren’t the “right” shoe for anything. I slipped on hikes, my soles would hurt after basketball and running, and they were not durable to the bike pedal pins. While I 4x’d the number of shoes to be able to fit my various use cases, I have more confidence in taking on each activity, which overall contributes quality of life.

social expansion

If I had it my way, I wouldn’t need fancy shoes, but I respect dress codes and want to look appropriately presentable in all contexts. My goal at fancy events is generally to blend in. I have a pair of loafers from my consulting days, one pair of open-toe heels, one pair of closed-toe heels, and leather sandals. These take me from business casual to semi-formal and I don’t expect to ever be invited to black-tie event.

aesthetic expansion

And finally, I have shoes that don’t serve a functional goal, but I really enjoy wearing for aesthetic and comfort purposes. I have a pair of Salomon lifestyle shoes that are very easy to take on and off and work across my wardrobe, my favorite Nike’s designed by Olivia Kim, and chunky black oxfords. I don’t “need” these shoes for anything specifically, but I wear them all the time.

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I’ve been applying the same approach the rest of my wardrobe. I have a core wardrobe with different “expansions” based on outdoor activity and fancy dress codes, and items that I have that are for pure enjoyment and self-expression. Splitting the items into different groups helps provide clarity on which items I should expect to use more often than others. For example, at some point I thought about getting rid of my heels because I haven’t wore them in two years. After reflecting on it, I realized that I don’t own heels to wear them constantly, and that they’re for special events that were mostly cancelled during COVID. Likewise, I’ve made the mistake of getting rid of running shoes before because I was in a slump, and then, months later, used the lack of shoes as an excuse not to run. I try to remember now that material possessions can weigh me down mentally, but they are also what enables me to do activities that are rewarding. I’ve been socially anxious about going to events before because I didn’t have the right shoes, and while it’s easy to go overboard, I do realize now that having a intentional wardrobe is very liberating—I don’t have to panic buy a dress because I got invited to a wedding that I was unprepared for, only to never wear it again because I only bought it under time pressure.

I expect that this will mostly conclude my reflections on clothing and fashion for the year. When I started on my closet reorganization and overhaul, I did not expect it to take up so much active thought and energy (and also money). I felt guilt over the consumerist aspect while figuring it out, but ultimately, I think it was worth it to prevent the reactionary cycle of having a full closet but constantly feeling like nothing was right. It made me more susceptible to advertisement, which often preys on the feeling of a new item perfectly filling a gap (sometimes an invented gap). Anything felt like it could fit when I had no sense of what the gaps really were. Now, advertisements rarely trigger any kind of emotional response because I’m self-aware about the gaps and I know exactly what I would want to fill them. Overall, I’m eager to take the energy I’ve spent reading about fabric weight, cuts, color theory, thread count, shoe lasts, and insulation and apply it to other parts of life. But if anyone is looking for a wardrobe redesign, let me know. It was pretty fun.

2021 wrap up

As 2021 comes to a close, I’ve been thinking through some of the best parts of this year, which I’m sharing in a few categories below.

favorite foods

1. the original buddha bodai in nyc
   Best vegan dim sum in the world, probably. I’ve been there many times but getting to go back after uncertainty about whether they would make it through the pandemic nearly made me cry.
   
   

2. kamakura japanese cuisine in seattle
   I think we went there 7 times in 6 weeks. I wasn’t expecting much from a regular sushi place with a separate vegan menu, but it was delicious. The rice was always on point and they were so creative with their sauces and different vegan rolls. Convenient location near Gasworks / bike paths made it a staple in our Seattle experience.
   
   

3. nectar cafe in portland
   I thought this would be some hippie place with mediocre food and juices, but it really blew my mind. Both times I went, I ended up getting another order to-go to delay the sadness of not being able to eat it again for a while. Their smoothie was top notch and all the breakfast plates I tried were delicious.
   
   

4. cha cha chinese pecan sunflower seeds
   I’ve eaten way too many of these. Truly addicted.
   
   

5. sestina in culver city
   Who knew basic pizzas and pastas could be so good?
   
   

6. terms of endearment in brooklyn
   The breakfast sandwich was kind of a greasy mess by the time I ate it, but it was SO GOOD. Such fresh pastries and ingredients.

favorite objects

1. ipad mini
   I’ve had many iterations of the iPad and while all have been useful, none have matched the compact utility of the new iPad mini. It’s small enough that I have completely replaced my Kindle with it — between Goodnotes for PDFs, the integrated Books app, and the Kindle app, I can read any kind of content and be able to highlight and save notes quite easily. I use it as an occasional second monitor with Sidecar, and no longer have a dedicated external monitor for work anymore. I take notes on it for work, sketch a bit in ProCreate, watch random YouTube videos on it, and save project inspiration notes in Pinterest. I can also connect my Planck EZ directly via USB-C and type away on iA Writer or even the Squarespace app.
   
   

2. bike hex tools
   I spent a lot of time this year working on bikes, and I love the simplicity of this multi-color hex set from BikeHand. It makes identifying the right size tool much easier, and the bright colors are easy to locate. They’re also much sturdier than the random set of free hex keys I had prior, and making tightening and loosening bolts much less painful.
   
   

3. nintendo switch (w/ zelda breath of the wild, overcooked, and smash)
   I’m not an avid gamer by any means — in fact, I’ve avoided games for a lot of my life because of the guilt associated with playing them. I tried to confront that earlier this year and got a Switch because I wanted to be able to play the more recent Super Smash Bros game with Max after that became a core fun component of our 2020 quarantine. I ended up getting Breath of the Wild too, which has been an incredible visual experience and such an engaging game. Overcooked has been great as well for quick post-dinner unwinding.
   
   

4. roka glasses
   I hate wearing glasses because most glasses are poorly balanced on my uneven years and end up causing ear pain, and eventually a headache. I got a pair of Roka glasses early this year because they were advertised as being really light and non-slip, and they definitely are. They are the only glasses I’ve been able to wear multiple days in a row for multiple hours at a time without causing pain. I have the photochromatic lenses on them, and even though they look kind of stupid, they’ve been great for travel since I can go on long bike rides or hikes without having to worry about another pair of sunglasses or protecting my eyes from wind even when it’s not sunny.
   
   

5. fujifilm x-pro 3
   Thank you Max for this lovely gift. Though film will always have my heart, sometimes it’s more practical (and much cheaper) to shoot digital (say, when you’re going on a 3 month roadtrip). The sensor, film presets, and e-ink display on the X-Pro 3 make it as close to a film experience as possible without shelling out life savings on a Leica, and it’s a joy to shoot. With a classic manual focus lens on there and a nice preset in place, I almost don’t miss film.

6. converse chuck 70’s
   I haven’t purchased new casual shoes in years, but as my all-white Converse Chuck II’s have become a nice mud color, I decided to finally set them aside for biking-only and replaced them with a pair of high top black Chuck 70’s. The quality is quite nice for a fairly inexpensive shoe, and I love that they go with pretty much anything.

favorite books

1. crying in h-mart by michelle zauner

   I cried myself to sleep multiple times during the reading process of this book, and sometimes I feel like I’m still processing it. It’s a complicated story, beautifully conveyed.
   

2. the day the world stops shopping by jb mackinnon
   I really enjoyed this intellectual exercise examining consumerism and the widespread impacts it has on every corner of this planet.
   

3. pipe dreams by chelsea wald
   I wrote in my Goodreads review that I “can’t this shit out of my head” and it’s true. I think about plumbing way more than I want to after reading this, but I also find it so fascinating.
   

4. anxious people by fredrik backman
   This was one of the first books I read this year and still one of my favorites. I’m a big fan of Fredrik Backman, as you might remember from this blog (Beartown was a favorite for long time). I find his characters so human and I admire his ability to turn simple events into compelling stories.
   

5. freedom in exile by dalai lama xiv
   My love of memoirs continues.
   

6. it’s all about the bike by robert penn
   This book inspired me to spend an absurd amount of money building my own bike. I think it’s for a particular type of materialistic nerd (ie. me) who obsesses over the most minute manufacturing details and/or bike history enthusiasts.
   

favorite memories

1. bike 100 miles (august)

   It felt amazing to be able to accomplish a goal that I thought was silly and unreachable, part 2.
   

2. making my first backpack (march)

   It felt amazing to be able to accomplish a goal that I thought was silly and unreachable, part 1.
   

3. birthday trip to culver city (may)

   It was nice to be a tourist in LA and have a mini birthday getaway. Although Shojin was a bit disappointing, Sestina was a great find.
   

4. finding a great place to live (october)

   We no longer live in a converted garage! Having 3 bedrooms seemed like it would be too much initially, but having white space in the house, being able to store things in closets, not hearing each other during separate Zoom meetings, having a dishwasher, and being able to access pools/hot tubs has been so nice.
   

5. hobbit house / outdoor shower on the oregon coast (august)

   Have you ever had a hot shower in the middle of the woods?
   

6. meeting coworkers in denver (november)

   It had been nearly 2 years since our last retreat, and although COVID risks were definitely present, it was nice to be able to connect with people I’ve been working with in real life and get to know everyone on a different level.

favorite new skills

1. a lot of new sewing skills

   I’m much more comfortable with sewing zippers, curves, and thick layers now. My edges are a lot more clean, and I’ve started working on my patterning/design skills to make things beyond the patterns I’ve found or bought.
   

2. doing things with motors
   E-bike conversion and an industrial sewing machine swap!
   

3. getting better at bike maintenance
   I can confidently fix a flat, tape drop bars, re-wire derailleur and brake cables, adjust rear derailleurs, and remove bottom brackets now.
   

4. cutting hair

   I have burgeoning clipper skills and can do a half-decent fade in less than an hour.
   

5. kind of being able to make some pottery
   Centering is hard but I can make some bowls.
   

6. notion life management
   Everything is a database now.

quick updates

Squarespace tells me I’ve had this draft of images sitting here since March 12th, so I figured I should post them. This year is going by really quickly—I can’t believe it’s mid-May already. I turned 26 a few weeks ago, which was spent with a little vegan food tour of Los Angeles (Sestina in Culver City has the best pizza and pasta). Other life updates include:

• Heading up the coast to Seattle to stay for the summer

  • Leaving in about a month, will stop through Redding, Sacramento, Crater Lake, Columbia River Gorge, and Olympic National Park

  • Weekend trips to North Cascades National Park and hopefully Mt Rainier!

• Will be traversing the east coast by train in September after spending a week in Minnesota

  • Stops include Boston, Acadia National Park, New York, and DC

• Bought an All-City Zig Zag on Facebook Marketplace and looking forward to some beautiful rides through the PNW. I also learned how to covert to tubeless riding, which was messy but now pretty sweet

• I made my first self-patterned backpack — a Dyneema packable rolltop bag. It’s pretty floppy and I’m not sure that the Dyneema weight I had was appropriate for a backpack, but it was fun to make nonetheless

• I was a finalist for Lael Wilcox’s Alaska bike scholarship which was pretty wild

• The album cover I shot for Amber Liu last year is finally out in the world

• I’ve almost hit a 600 day Duolingo streak!

All-City Zig Zag 105

both sides now / [a month into 2020?]

Why does this year feel like it’s been six months already? I really can’t say this year started off well, but I hope it’s on the upswing now. I got this 1959 Singer 401A from Facebook Marketplace early this year, and sewing has really been a great stress relieving activity. I started off with some basic stuff sacks and zip pouches, and made two Polartec Power Air hoodies inspired by the unobtainable Melanzana hoodies which turned out way better than I expected. They have been warm and cozy during this week of true Southern California winter. I also made a giant duffel to practice working with Cordura and webbing, and realized through that process that I enjoy working on smaller projects.

Here’s the hoodie that I made!

I just said I want to work on smaller projects, but I have materials for a synthetic backpacking quilt that I plan on tackling soon too, which will either confirm or force me reconsider the types of projects I want to make. In addition to that, I’ve been working on some designs for a camera pouch based on this Artisan & Artist one that I’ve always wanted but is absurdly expensive, a smaller camera bag for the Fujifilm XF10, or a nylon jacket of some kind. I made a padded keyboard case for my Planck EZ this week which was good practicing in completely winging it and having more freedom (to mess up) rather than following a guide or pattern (really helpful, as it turns out).

Planning out all my projects here.

In other news, I completed a 30 mi ride at the beginning of this year, which is pretty exciting for me. I’ve never been a good endurance athlete so riding for a few hours straight and not feeling completely wrecked by the end is promising for my century training.

Snack breaks at mile 14.

I got off the waitlist for the UC California Naturalist Program at the Bolsa Chica Conservancy, so I started that last week. I think it would’ve been more rewarding if there wasn’t a pandemic happening and the class could be hosted in person, but it’s also more accessible right now and I’m not sure that I would’ve been able to make it out to Huntington Beach every week if it were all held IRL. I’ve learned a lot about California’s geographic history and have good motivation now to be more observant and inquisitive while spending time outdoors. I’m only two weeks in so excited to learn more as well.

Much of the day-to-day memorable-ness of life is documented by these quiet little scenes—a morning at the beach, a lunch date at the park, a sunset with a kite. I wonder how we’re supposed to process the entire year of 2020 and this year spent in quarantine. I’m sure we’ll all be traumatized by this experience in different ways, but I hope I’ll remember the serenity of these moments as well.

I finally built out a normal sized desk for myself after trying a standing setup, a sitting setup, and working full days on a stool at our bar. The top is made from two pieces of 3/4” plywood salvaged from our TV console, and the little shelf on the right is made from the remaining pieces of that console. It’s nice to have space to spread out and a table to use for the endless sewing projects, and also feels pretty good to be able to recycle furniture pieces that I made into new ones once our needs changed. And speaking of needs changing, I sold my Mamiya 6. I loved almost every image that came of out that camera, but it stressed me out knowing that if any point the electronics on that thing failed (and it’s about time they did), I would be left with an insanely expensive brick. Fujifilm 400H has also been discontinued, and medium format film and development is so pricey nowadays that I can’t really justify the cost of ownership for a few pretty landscape photos a few times a year. I sold off a few other lenses for my Leica as well, so I’m left with a little kit of the Zeiss 25mm, a new Zeiss C-Biogon 35mm f/2.8, and the Olympus XA4 to cover the 28mm focal length. This frees up some change to put into other hobbies, like materials for all of my sewing projects, biking stuff, or maybe more realistically, more vegan pizza.

reflection questions

What are you excited for in this upcoming year? In the next three years?

How has this year in isolation changed you?

hallway weather / [happy new year]

A crazy year behind us, with hopefully a little bit more hope, competency, kindness, and justice in this new year. The holiday season was filled with Super Smash Bros, long bike rides, Zoom calls, and outdoor lunches. I read Blue Revolution: Unmaking America's Water Crisis by Cynthia Barnett, which was a well-written overview of the water situation in the U.S.

I had high hopes for 2020, and while most things didn’t quite work out, I am grateful for making it through the year in a year where many families lost loved ones. I did successfully complete the camper bed for my car, shot a good amount of medium format film, got involved in Citizens Climate Lobby, read a good number of books (32?), and took a few local road trips. I ended up doing much more woodworking than expected and learned some basic joinery with hand tools. I got a lot more into biking than I anticipated. It was a memorable year for the quiet moments.

I don’t have grand plans for 2021 given how this year turned out, but I do have a few small goals.

• Read 30 books — I think this is a comfortable pace given all the other things I want to do and the full time job. I have primarily been reading books about history and water.

• Do a narrative photography project — I’ve been taking Alex Soth’s photographic storytelling course online, and am inspired to create a body of work that has more of a narrative journey than my photographs typically do.

• Become a certified naturalist — The UC school system offers a naturalist certification program through local organizations, and I think it would be a fun way for structured learning about the local ecology.

• Draw one thing a month — I’m not constraining this to anything in particular, but I like drawing and just need some motivation to sketch every now and then. I’ve also enjoyed following ProCreate tutorials on YouTube.

• Make some hoodies — I used to sew a lot in middle school, and I remember really enjoying the creative process of figuring out how to create something new. Hoodies were one of my favorite things to make, probably because they were one of my favorite things to wear. I want to learn how to make more technical hoodies for hiking or biking, and hopefully expand to other sewing projects from there. The “myog” (make-your-own-gear) community online inspires lots of interesting ideas.

• Bike a century — I’m planning on biking the entirety of the Santa Ana River Trail, followed by Highway 1 to Torrey Pines State Beach. 100 miles, probably 9+ hours, with many of snack breaks at vegan restaurants. Wish me luck.

That is all! Happy new year! Also, Pixar’s Soul was an excellent life contemplation film.

chinese satellites / [routines and updates]

It’s been a crazy couple of weeks. Election anxiety and fear, post-election disinformation, COVID spiking again, successful vaccine trial news, a new president-elect… There’s been a lot going on. But also there hasn’t been a lot going on. Most of my days (other than that lovely week in Utah) look something like this:

• 8:30am - Wake up, eat breakfast, drink some tea, start working

• 12:00pm - Eat lunch, which is usually lentil stew, sourdough toast, or a sandwich

• 3:30pm - Break from work to go for a 3-7mi bike ride, depending on how I’m feeling

• 6:00pm - Make dinner

• 9:00pm - Read and meditate

• 10:45pm - Sleep

The days blend together, which has been the common theme of COVID life. I have kind of forgotten what it’s like to go eat at a restaurant, go to a concert, or walk through a crowd. More than ever, I feel like it is the small things in life that make each day interesting. Some small wins of late:

• I can ride bike rollers without any support now. I still feel like dying after ~5 mins but that’s still progress.

• I learned of lot of interesting food/grocery facts from The Secret Life of Groceries: The Dark Miracle of the American Supermarket by Benjamin Lorr. It was a was a fascinating micro-history and analysis of the current food system and I highly recommend it to anyone interested in learning more about a system that is critical to our daily lives.

• I’m really happy with the film photos from the last few months. It was my first time shooting Lomo 800 film for my personal documentary photography. I’m not as familiar with the unique characteristics of Lomo 800 compared to Fuji C200 (which has been my go-to for years now), but I thought they came out pretty well! Not as happy with my Ektar shots in the Mamiya 7, but haven’t found a medium format film that I really like (maybe Portra 800?)

• It’s no longer 90-110 degrees every day which has been the best thing ever.

• Kiss the Ground was an at-times-interesting, at-times-questionable documentary on regenerative farming. I think it could’ve gone without some of the celebrity cameos, but the concept of regenerative farms is worth spreading and it’s exciting to see more mainstream media sources providing climate solution documentaries to the public.

• Sadly, I found Ken Liu’s second collection of short stories to be pretty disappointing. There were a few that had the magic of The Paper Menagerie, but others lacked human character. It felt like he was too caught up in the technological aspects of the stories that the individual characters generally fell flat. The ones that were good, however, were lovely.

• The Orange Farmers Market has amazing giant $6 loaves of fresh sourdough and fall flavored pluots.

• Moment made a filter for pack film! Fuji FP-100c was my favorite film while it was still manufactured. I remember cars slowing down to stare at me on Memorial Drive as I held a giant Polaroid Land 250 to my face on a detour from classes. There’s a sample shot from the RTRO app at the end of the post. Pack film tends to be muddy looking and underexposed and moody but for some reason I really liked it. It’s cool that Moment made a filter for it since I didn’t think it was a particularly popular film format.

• We attached a hitch and bike rack to Gari! Took some borrowed car ramps, 3/8” socket wrenches, and a lot of time figuring out how to remove stubborn exhaust hangers and it’s still unclear if we did it properly, but here we are. Can’t wait to bike the Santa Ana River Trail.

reflection question

• What is something you want to work into your routine?

the missing road / sequoia

I got my first rolls of film developed since COVD-19 started in February. I had one roll of black and white film in my Olympus XA4 that I’ve been shooting intermittently since then, but I shot 2 rolls of Ektar 100 on the Mamiya 6 on a recent trip to Sequoia National Forest. I’ve missed photography a lot during this time, and plan on shooting more of my daily life whenever possible. The documentation helps provide checkpoints in what seems like a pretty monotonous passing of time.

A photo of me in May working on a plywood coffee table (you can catch a glimpse of it above).

I’ve been reworking my camera gear recently (perpetually?). I sold my X100F and got a Leica M6, which has been my dream camera since I began film photography as a 14 year-old. It seemed entirely unobtainable then, both financially and practically. I purchased my Leica M2 in 2018 in horrendous condition because it seemed unreasonable to spend so much money on a mechanical camera, but after putting hundreds of rolls through it, I’ve decided a good condition, reliable camera that can capture my most precious moments is worth it. I’m excited to have a built-in light meter and a fully functioning shutter. I’ve never been a huge fan of camera backpacks (to be fair, as a backpack enthusiast, camera backpacks haven’t really become well-designed until the last few years), but the Brevite Jumper seemed interesting as an everyday backpack that could protect my cameras and lenses better than chucking them in my backpack with a wrap or jacket. After using it for a week or so, I like it a lot. The gear compartment keeps my camera stuff well-protected and organized, and there’s enough room for everyday work things like my laptop, tablet, headphones, and keyboard if I want to work somewhere else for the day (during the pandemic, options are limited). Here’s a quick sketchy illustration of everything that goes into it.

Other updates

• I’m current reading Franchise: The Golden Arches in Black America. It’s an interesting history of McDonalds as well as the impact of the chain on Black businesspeople and communities. This 99% Invisible podcast is a great summary for those interested in the topic but can’t read the book now.

• I read Minor Feelings by Cathy Park Hong recently. As an Asian American who has often felt isolated because of my racial identity, it was a cathartic read at times, and insightful/entertaining at others.

• Also reading The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness which is a must-read for everyone. It persuasively and effectively highlights all the injustices of our justice system.

• We’ve been watching the 2018 remake of Meteor Garden to improve our Chinese skills and there’s only 5 episodes left.

• I’m currently scoping out the next woodworking project (the finished bar stools are shown below). I think I will be making a guitar amp stand/shelf with more poplar 2x2’s and maybe some walnut.

• I’ve been curious about taking an online photography class…not so much about technique or gear, but more of the storytelling aspect and building cohesive photo stories.

reflection question

What is something you're interested in learning more about in a structured way?

sweeter / covid updates

I’ve found it difficult to write lately, especially on this public space on the internet. My life is moving forward—I just moved out, my work has continued, my projects have continued, I find moments of stillness in sunset gradients as I always have. Protests for racial justice have taken the political stage, COVID-19 continues to rock the nation, and I continue to ponder my place in all of it. I attended my first Black Lives Matter protest (Roxbury, MA) in 2014, perhaps my first real experience in making an effort to understand and empathize with the real life injustices of America. The energy of that crowd is difficult to forget, and I have, since then, continuously made an effort to reflect on my own internal biases and engage in self-educational efforts to understand the nuances of inequality beyond overt racism. If you’re interested, here are some of the books I have found helpful so far in building layers of understanding of American history and society through different genres! If you have any that you think would be helpful for me, please share.

• The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin

• Notes of a Native Son by James Baldwin

• Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates

• The Sun Does Shine: How I Found Life and Freedom on Death Row by Anthony Ray Hinton

• When They Call You a Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir by Patrisse Khan-Cullors

• The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

• The Cooking Gene: A Journey Through African American Culinary History in the Old South by Michael Twitty

Angela Davis, Ibram X. Kendi, and The New Jim Crow are on my list.

The state of COVID-19 is also absurd to think about. As case counts continue to rise, I see people throughout Orange County blatantly (and often proudly) walking about in public disregarding Gov Newsom’s statewide order for masks. There are observable racial divides between what groups of people will respectfully wear masks, and what groups of people will declare masks a freedom-threatening nuisance that must be met with death threats towards public health officials who request their widespread use. It is horrifying to observe, but both of these issues prompts reflection on how we can better engage / change the opinions of those we find unreasonable.

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I moved to Orange last week, a small city north of Irvine near the Anaheim Hills. We’re in a small one bedroom on the property of a larger house, and our landlord has a goat named Ginger. Ginger likes to run into the house when the door is open to say hello.

After more than 3 month of stay-at-home-orders, I am finding it increasingly suffocating to stay indoors for long periods of time. We went on a bike ride in Upper Newport a few weeks ago. The bike trails were pretty busy but feeling the ocean breeze was a welcome respite.

I’ve worked on far too many projects at once in the last month. One of them was building out a set of bookshelf speakers from a DIY kit. My paint job was a little janky, but they sound nicer than any speakers I’ve ever had. Since the last post, I’ve also done the following projects:

• Built a TV console / speaker shelf

• Built a coffee table

• Reupholstered couch cushions

• Built a standing desk and removable laptop stand

• Built a keyboard stand + wrist rest

• Soldered and assembled a USB-C cable

• Soldered and assembled an aux cable

All of the projects are becoming a blur and maybe one day I will post photos of the finished house setup. Due to the small size and lack of shop space, I’ve decided that my future projects will be hand-tool only. I’ve relied a circular saw, router, jigsaw, and a random orbit sander on my projects, but I will be transitioning to a Japanese hand saw, some chisels, sandpaper, and a hand plane for future projects. When I first became interested in woodworking, I thought I would enjoy power tools and building large furniture pieces, but I’m realizing that taking my time, being more meditative and thoughtful with my work, not fearing dismembering myself, and not having to clean sawdust off every surface after cutting or sanding something sounds more appealing. In the next few weeks, I will be building out some bar stools, and a little floor workbench and toolbox for my hand tools. I have been enjoying this new hobby and making physical objects again. I’ve missed a film camera in my hand and open skies, but for now, I appreciate woodworking as an COVID-19-friendly hobby and a way to make a space feel more personal.

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reflection questions

• What’s the most memorable encounter you’ve had regarding race? Have you felt threatened? Have you felt privileged?

• In what ways does race impact your personal life? Your professional life?

oceansize [birthday]

Woodworking projects are in full force now that I have a reasonable enough tool collection to tackle simple projects. Over the last few weeks, I’ve been building a standing desk for working outside. The top laptop riser is removable so that I can work on the floor, which I’m accustomed to doing from college years. This was made from a few layers of 1/2 inch baltic birch plywood and 37” steel hairpin legs.

Prior to the desk, I worked on a paracord seat inspired by Modern Builds. Instead of turning it into a stool, some mistakes along the way turned this into a rocking floor chair. Weaving the paracord took a total of more than 4 hours (I listened to many Planet Money episodes in the process), but I’m quite happy with the way it turned out.

other updates

• I turned 25! The day was full of love, fruit bowls, apple pie, noodles, jigsaw puzzles, and more love. Feeling old and uncool nowadays but infinitely grateful for all the wonderful people in my life.

• The pink oyster mushrooms were finally ready for the cooking. Pictured below pan-fried with kale, spinach, and fried tofu.

• I sold a bunch of stuff on eBay, including my Canon QL17 rangefinder, the 28mm 7artisans lens, Sony noise cancelling headphones, some clothes, and a laptop. In lieu of the wide-angle which was a little too heavy to carry regularly with the Leica M2, I got a Moment anamorphic lens for some sweet wide shots on my birthday gift iPhone SE. It’s really fun to shoot with and I like using it for project time lapse videos since it covers a wide field of view with little distortion.

• To return from dedicated bluetooth life, this little Fiio uBTR allows any wired headphones to be used wirelessly. I have it hooked up to some Tin Audio T2’s, which are lovely budget IEMs that I truly missed using. The stock cables didn’t have a microphone so it was hard to use for phone calls or work, but with the Fiio contraption I can use these wirelessly with both my phone and laptop at the same time and take calls.

• My brother and I hosted a successful Mother’s Day brunch with a menu and all. Tofu satay skewers, French toast, tempeh hash, mustard salad, avocado toast, and mango pudding.

• Eating vegan sushi from Kensho in Fountain Valley on a balcony tarp is a viable alternative to date nights at Newport Beach—Love in the Time of Covid-19.

• Currently reading How Much of These Hills is Gold by C Pam Zhang and I’m a little mind-blown by her insane writing capacity and the grotesqueness of it. It’s definitely unlike anything I’ve ever read before and it’s both incredibly intriguing and incredibly discomforting.

• In the process of building the speaker set which I’m documenting as a time-lapse. Will share in the next project update

• Will be moving in June and plan on building the majority of the furniture for the next house as a giant woodworking challenge

• Made apple cider from scratch from leftover birthday apples and it was delicious

• Tried to solder a USB-C cable which was a slight disaster but I’m currently using it to type on my keyboard so I guess it works

cool for a second [camper fit part ii]

camper fit finished

I’ve been bad at updating my blog, but I finally finished the Honda Fit camper car project a few weeks ago. I used extra foam from cutting down the mattress to make a bench seat cushion. I haven’t sewed anything substantial in a while, so putting together the removable jersey fabric bench cover with elastic bands was a bit of a challenge. I’m quite happy with how it turned out in the end. The dark grey side is for sitting on the bench, the light grey side becomes a low-profile pillow for the mattress.

Finished bench before the cover

Laying out my materials

Contrast banding holds the cushion in place

Finished!

I didn’t like the included cover with the mattress because it attracted dirt easily, which didn’t seem promising considering it would live in my car. I purchased some clearance SolarWeave nylon fabric and made a new cover. Since the fabric is a little bit rough, I cut a segment of leftover grey jersey fabric for the head part.

Mattress cover with pieces of fabric cut

Finished mattress cover with pillow!

Occupied

To finish off the project, I wanted to be able to keep the hatch open on hot summer nights, but didn’t want any bugs invading. I got some mosquito netting from Joann and cut it to size. To fasten it to the car, I used duct tape to create a seam on the edge and taped small rare-earth magnets that attached to the car. The magnets are quite small and pop off fairly easily, but should work for keeping mosquitos out.

other updates

• All summer plans cancelled because of COVID-19, which is sad, but very grateful for job and other privileges during this time

• Reading The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay. I haven’t read a fiction novel in a while and I’m really enjoying the departure from my usual water policy / environmental devastation content

• The pink oyster mushrooms from my last post grew rapidly, got drenched in rain, and then become infested with fungi gnats. They all died. We cut them out and attempted a second growth, and they’re growing again!

• Getting better at slingshotting and hitting cans from ~30 ft away

• I got a pair of C-Note MT bookshelf speakers as a DIY kit — haven’t assembled it yet because i want to do some custom paint work on the cabinets and am waiting on paint, but excited to learn more about how speakers work

• In the process of designing a somewhat modular standing desk for working outside / downstairs as the weather heats up

• Also in the process of designing a media console shelf thing for the speakers I haven’t built yet

rubyinsides [camper fit part 1]

Dear reader, I hope you’re staying healthy, safe, and sane out there, wherever you may be in the world.

update on my car camper project

Building the base that sits on the trunk and elevates the bed platform for underneath storage.

Cutting a 3 inch foam mattress topper I got off eBay.

Below is a picture of the whole expanded setup upside-down. The attached door handles anchor to my car to keep the entire thing from flying forward in the event of an accident or extremely hard stop.

I originally designed the sleeping platform to lie on top of two 18 inch tall storage bins. It…sort of worked, but as you can see in the picture, it was already bending under my weight and would definitely not work for two people. I liked the idea of having the bins for organization, but ended up deciding to make a bench that could either serve as a chill camp bench or the bed support. I opted for hairpin legs for absolute stability and ease of assembly.

Bench support! And Champy.

Folded

Unfolded

Occupied

pocket holes and mini project

I’m interested in improving my woodworking skills further, so I recently acquired a hand planer and some other small tools for little weekend garage projects. This past weekend, I set up my jack plane and evened out some warped common board I bought from Home Depot. I learned how to do pocket holes for the first time, made some angled cuts on the circle saw, and put together a little foot stool.

My next project is making custom covers for the bench support that can serve as padded seating or a sleeping pillow. I figured out how to sew zipper seams, and also plan on making a custom cover for the mattress that will be easier to clean and wipe down than the provided cotton cover.

living thing update

The lettuce are growing exponentially, and we’ve added sugar snap peas, mint, spinach, okra, carrots and basil!

Started a pink oyster mushroom grow kit from Forest Origins. This is where they’re at after a week of growing!

reflection question

What helps you stay sane during times of uncertainty?

extra career activities

Quick follow-up to my previous post about goals and “extra career” activities. I got a little overwhelmed by the daunting list of things I wanted to improve at, my existing hobbies, limited time, and limited money. This resulted in an attempted Venn diagram that turned into an Excel comparison chart.

My 3 factors of consideration were…

1. How much do I enjoy this activity?

2. How much money does this activity require?

3. How often do I want to be doing this activity?

For each factor, I considered both short term and long term enjoyment, cost, and ideal time spent. I gave each category a value between 0 and 3 for my current and potential activities. It’s important to note that this is not necessarily a spectrum of worse to better. The idea wasn’t to pick the most enjoyable, cheapest, or least time-consuming hobbies. I wanted to lay it out all out to be more mindful that I wasn’t committing myself to activities that were too demanding in any specific category. Balance was the priority.

During the exercise, I realized that many of my existing hobbies have persisted because of their low-cost and high enjoyment ratios. Other than photography, most of my existing hobbies had relatively small startup costs and were free afterwards (they say 0 for short term cost now because I have already bought the instrument or equipment necessary). I’m generally cost-conscious, so this made sense to me, but I realized I wanted to make sure I didn’t rule out an activity that could potentially be very rewarding just because it had a monthly cost associated with it.

I ended up with a variety of activities a little bit more clarity on what I wanted to spend my money and time on. Softgoods manufacturing and woodworking will probably be the most time and resource consuming, but I think the long-term enjoyment and skill-based nature of the activities will end up being rewarding. The results were pretty much what I expected, but it was helpful to go through the exercise and think everything through categorically. It gave me more confidence that I would be dedicating my time to the things that were meaningful to me in both the short and long-term, while not sacrificing either.

car camper

My first woodwork-y project is a bed for the back of my Honda Fit, which I’ve been designing / thinking about for a while now. Finally bought some wood and figured out some solid plans last weekend. Here’s a sketch of my current design — I took out my rear seats completely to maximize storage space for camping trips, although that may prove inconvenient at some point. I’m planning on using a foam mattress topper cut to size. The head to toe length will be about 70 inches.

Gari loaded up with building materials!

reflection question

What inspires you towards change and growth?

pedestal / march thoughts

It’s hard to believe we’re a full 2 months into 2020 already, but here we are. Lots of crazy things happening in the world and I have lots of thoughts about them.

coronavirus

When I read The Coming Plague by Laurie Garrett in 2018, I realized it was only a matter of time before the next global pandemic. Honestly, reading that book made it seem like it was an absolute miracle that these disease outbreaks didn’t happen more often. But now, coronavirus is here. It’s caused global panic, economic downturn, and continues to reveal the incompetencies of the current U.S. government. Mike Pence has essentially muzzled the CDC, Trump blames Democrats for ‘politicizing’ coronavirus after calling it a hoax, and the CDC has stopped disclosing the number of Americans being tested for the virus.

Misinformation is everywhere— I’m fact checking every WhatsApp link in my family group chat and refreshing the news pages every fifteen minutes just to follow what’s happening. I understand the panic due to lack of trust in government, the capacity this virus has had to travel undetected for weeks on end, and the uncontainable connectedness of our modern world. It’s really scary. I recognize and acknowledge that calmness is easy for me to encourage—I work from home in a place of relatively low population density with health insurance and financial stability—but I think the context of fear is worth considering.

This virus has proved difficult to fight for elderly patients. Concern for our older loved ones is reasonable and I think it’s important to prepare for the worst—stocking up on canned foods, medicine, and whatever necessities are required for brief quarantine. Preparedness is different than outright panic—hoarding food, toilet paper, masks, and other supplies can become detrimental for people who might actually really need those supplies. Death from any cause is scary, and the immediacy and unexpected nature of coronavirus plays into humankind’s fear (and obsession?) of dramatic apocalypses. I get that, but would also urge people to consider all the various other facets of their lives and personal decisions that affect safety and long-term health. The average American has a 1 in 5 chance of dying from cancer. In the US, 36,560 people died from car accidents in 2018. 67,367 died from opioid overdose and 48,344 from suicide that same year. From 1999 to 2010, 8,081 heat-related deaths were reported in the US. Lightning kills an average of 49 Americans a year.

I’m not trying to trivialize coronavirus. If you’re reading this and you haven’t stocked up on food and basic medical supplies for a potential quarantine, I would encourage you to do so. The risks are real and the fears are valid. I just wish that people would direct as much time and attention as they have to coronavirus in recent weeks in thinking through our healthcare systems, firearm regulation, safer driving behavior, and the less dramatic but significantly more deadly effects of our chemically-laden food and water systems, toxic airs, rising global temperatures, or any of the many ways people die every day, with no news reports dedicated to their passing.

democratic primaries

Super Tuesday was surprising, to say the least. I’m still working out how I feel about it all, although I’ve been generally uncertain about how I felt about it all since the first Democratic debate in June. I will say that regardless of the result of the primaries, I will show up in November for the future of our planet, our public health, our communities. Regardless of who the nominee is, I vote to fight for the validity of science, the power of compassion, and for the state of democracy in this country.

goals breakdown

I’ve been reconsidering and reorganizing the goals I have for the year. I’m not sure I gave that enough thought the first time around—it’s pretty easy to create a laundry list of New Years Resolutions just to have something to stick to, but I feel a little quarter life crisis coming and will try to be even more intentional about my time and efforts.

intellectual

I’m still aiming to read 44 books this year, but want to feel more okay about jumping around and cherry-picking for information that is relevant to me. The goal of reading this year is to bolster and encourage action in the categories listed below. I want to spend significantly more time engaging, building, and pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

action (engagement and policy)

I have still yet to go to a Citizens Climate Lobby meeting, but am still banking on that being my primary form of community engagement in policy. The goal here is to learn more about how political decisions are made, how to influence them, and what compromise realistically look like. How much effort does it take to change peoples minds, and what are effective mechanisms for encouraging change?

action (software + design)

I work at a startup now and am learning new things about software and UI/UX design on a daily basis. Progress in this aspect will happen regardless of what I do outside of work, but I want to do more independent design projects and learn more about implementation. I want to have confident understanding of how basic applications are designed, built, and tested from beginning to end. As a measurable goal, I want to help design and implement at least one side software project this year.

action (hardware + making)

This is probably the center pillar of my impending quarter-life crisis. I’ve loved building and making things my whole life, and while a mechanical engineering degree required a fair bit of shop time, I have yet to tackle major personal projects since graduating. I want to make this a priority for extra-career time (is this the adult analogue to “extracurricular”? It should be, just saying). This past weekend, I started on a little camper bed for the back of my Honda Fit, but I want to tackle more complex softgoods and woodworking projects. A little list of projects I’ve compiled that I’m very excited about:

softgoods

• topquilt

• drybags

• this ultralight backpack

woodworking

• camper bed for my car (in progress)

• a basic table (plywood with legs)

• bookshelf

• media console

• sofa

• there’s a lot more but i want to be reasonable here

action (physical activity)

Since moving back to Orange County, I’ve been forcing myself to run and (very occasionally) swim, both of which are activities I’ve generally disliked. Running is moderately tolerable now, and I run 2-3 times a week. I have to exercise at least a little every day or else my sleep quality sucks, so I mix it up with TRX, yoga, core circuits, or biking on the other days. I’m realizing more how much I’ve missed basketball, even the simple shooting aspect of it and how it can be great exercise. I haven’t played or shot regularly since my sophomore year of college, when my last pair of basketball shoes became unwearable. Finding basketball shoes that work for my feet has been painfully difficult (due to their stiff soles and inflexible uppers) in the past so I haven’t purchased a pair since then, but I think I finally found a pair that works. Looking forward to more morning / sunset shooting sessions and neighborhood pickup games.

Backpacking is another thing that’s crawling into my quarter-life crisis. As a nature-loving city kid, I went on many hikes and motel-crashing national park trips growing up, but never slept outside. I went on a real camping for the first time as a college student (unless you count camp tenting for Coachella), and probably not for real, for real, until after college. I love sleeping under the stars and the smoky warmth of campfires, but there is still a strong feeling of security and comfort in being able to carry a carload of things with you. Backpacking scares me because the idea of carrying everything you need for a few days sounds tiring and also potentially dangerous if under-prepared. Still, it’s something that I’ve always wanted to do and integrate into my weekend activities, and definitely makes for a good comfort zone challenge. I’ve “one-bagged” all my travels for about four years now so I think I’m up for it, just need to compile the right gear. Appropriate hiking shoes are a big issue.

Attempting to surf one more time is still on my list because it is a good challenge for my fear of water.

Getting toeside carves down is still on my list because of sheer desire to be a gnarly SoCal snowboarder.

reflection question

• What is a reflection question you want to ask yourself?

crimes / updates

life updates

• Saw Gallant live for the second time at The Roxy — still my favorite artist to see live. If you’re wondering why, watch the video above

• Finally visited The Museum of Natural History in LA and saw lots of cool bones

• Had a very special weekend in Seattle, saw my old homes, explored Capitol Hill, and experienced an uncharacteristically sunny weekend in February

• Shot black and white film for the first time in a long while and really missed those grainy textures

• Finalized an 11 day trip to Wyoming and Montana with my mom this summer—will spend some time in Glacier, Bozeman, and the Tetons

• Planning a family trip to Ireland / Scotland in July to visit grandma

• Also planning trip to Minnesota in August

• Randomly reading and writing more poetry but I have no idea what I’m doing

• Celebrated a truly wonderful year

• Bought this vintage Winnie the Pooh letterman jacket and the yellow makes me very happy

reflection question

• How has your impression or expectations of relationships changed over the course of your life?

blood bank / reading themes

I’ve been able to catch up with a few friends over the holidays and I got asked several times—what is your reading theme for this year? Although I’m generally aware of my reading themes, I’ve never mapped them out annually before, so here is a general list of the themes I tackled in 2018 (consciously), common themes that piqued my interest in 2019 (less consciously, I allowed myself to follow where my curiosities led last year), and what I plan on exploring in 2020.

reading themes 2018

• Food politics

• Meat industry

• Soil health in agriculture

• Fishing

reading themes 2019

• China’s recent political history

  • Cultural Revolution

  • Tiananmen

  • modern culture in China

  • Censorship

  • Technological development)

• Climate change

  • Psychology and denial

  • Feasible political responses

  • Potential outcomes (flooding, fires, natural disasters)

  • Migration and border security

  • Past “ends of the world”

• Racial and economic inequality in the US

• Short stories

• Memoirs

• Current political state of the US

reading themes 2020

• Urbanism (Inequality, segregation, how to build better cities?)

• Water (History of water rights, especially in the western US, how water is regulated, future of water in age of climate change)

• Immigration stories (Asia, Latin America)

• Maps and geographic history

• Food (How to build more secure food networks?)

• Surrealist fiction and short stories

other updates

• Played a lot of intense Spike Ball with family over the holidays

• Went snowboarding over Christmas and New Year and can occasionally toeside turn now. Going back up to Big Bear this weekend and excited to get more practice in

• Went to Tahoe for the first time and it was beautiful. I took a lot of medium format shots on the Mamiya, and am excited to get those scans back sometime next week

• Visited Sacramento for the first time. Was surprised by how un-Californian it felt, I think because I’ve never been to a city in California with a river running through it

• Saw my first meteor shower (kind of??)! The Quadrantids happened while in Tahoe and saw a few of them! It was more anticlimactic than expected but the skies were beautiful

• Can almost play Cherry Wine properly on the guitar

• Read Chanel Miller’s Know My Name and was entirely wrecked by it

• Bought some matcha and was gifted a matcha tea set over the holidays. Excited to make some oat milk matcha lattes

reflection questions

• When was the last time you pushed yourself out of your comfort zone?

• What are you seeking?

panasonic / climate change, meaningful discussion, updates

“Climate change is, I suggest, exceptionally multitalented. It lends itself to multiple interpretations of causality, timing, and impact. This leaves it extremely vulnerable to our innate disposition to select or adapt information so that it confirms our preexisting assumptions— biased assimilation and confirmation bias. If climate change can be interpreted in any number of ways, it is therefore prone to being interpreted in the way that we choose.
”

— George Marshall, Don't Even Think About It

George Marshall’s Don’t Even Think About It: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Ignore Climate Change was a nuanced and insightful look into why climate change has become a politically divisive and taboo topic. He recounts conversations he’s had with people across the political spectrum, from dedicated climate scientists to equally dedicated climate deniers. He extends a genuine willingness to understand people, and as a result, is able to pull out what I find very reasonable guidelines for talking about such a complex and pressing issue.

quick notes about overall message

• The early climate change narratives focused on tail-pipe emissions, not wellhead production. All following narratives concerning definition of problem, moral responsibility, and policy solutions stem from that framework (ie. focus on individual methods of cutting personal consumption, not on pressing corporations to cut consumption or oil companies to produce less)

• We wish to avoid the anxiety it generates and deep changes it requires and put it off into the future because there will always be more pressing day-to-day things to focus our attention on (apparently people with children are less worried about climate change than those without children, perhaps revealing that children serve as a very effective day-to-day distraction from long term issues… but also makes me wonder whether the narrative about “what kind of world are we leaving for our children?” really works)

• Many people globally already accept it as a major threat, but currently feel isolated and powerless. They could be mobilized if their concerns and hopes were validated within a community of shared conviction and purpose.

suggestions for more effective discussion

• Emphasize that climate change is happening here and now (be wary of creating distance by framing it as a future threat)

• People are more motivated to restore lost environmental quality than improve current environmental quality...express it as restoration of past loss (social or environmental)

• Recognize moments of proximity that demand political and collective action...create a symbolic moment

• Interference of outsiders will likely be counterproductive, building conviction will probably rely on local communities opening up a conversation about long-term preparedness. Preparedness and adaptation are ways for people to accept that climate change is already under way, and enable a conversation about the topic even if it’s politically taboo to discuss climate change as a whole

• Not everyone wants to protect the status quo, so a narrative of positive change about how our adaption to climate change can also create a more just and equitable world can be effective

• People respond to narratives, not science—follow narrative rules with recognizable actors, motives, causes, and effects

• Resist simple framings (is that climate change is simply an environmental issue, a threat, an opportunity, a wellhead problem, a tailpipe problem, or any other oversimplification)

• Policy makers can easily become locked into simple one-off solutions that solve more immediate problems...need to ensure that a wide range of solutions is constantly under review (iterative risk management)

• Don’t accept your opponent’s frames — don’t negate them, repeat them, or structure your arguments to counter them (ie arguments that the low-carbon economy will bring jobs become vulnerable to evidence that the high-carbon economy might bring more jobs)

• There are many common but uncompelling narratives of good vs. bad, right against wrong. We all contribute to this problem and we will all suffer from the consequences

• Be careful that enemy narratives do not fuel division

• Create a heroic quest in which the enemy might be our own weaknesses rather than a specific outside group

• Build a narrative of cooperation that serves to bring people together to work towards a common cause—cooperation, not unity (we do not have to be the same people or necessarily share the same beliefs to work together)

• Accept the spectrum of approaches pushing in the same direction even if they do not have the same detailed objectives

• Be honest about the danger but encourage positive visions

• Activate cooperative values rather than competitive values and stress what we have in common (concerns, goals, a desire for healthy and secure communities, a good future for our children)

• Relate solutions to climate change as sources of happiness and how they can strengthen connections we feel with friends, neighbors, and colleagues

• Enable communication methods with built-in interaction to create visible social norms. Climate change is not an isolated intellectual exercise, creating communities of shared conviction where people can express doubts and fears can strengthen bonds that enable collective action.

• Keep an open mind, be alert to your bias, remember that experts can also be biased, and seek out a wide range of views (debate is useful so learn from your critics).

• Learn from religions and the thousands of years of experience in creating sustainable methods of socially held belief

• Frame climate change as an informed choice between desirable and catastrophic outcomes. Inaction itself is a choice in favor of more severe climate change

• Invoke nonnegotiable scared values that make people motivated to make short-term sacrifices for long-term collective good (religion is incredibly effective at doing this)

• Communicators should learn to emphasize the qualities that create trust and tell personal stories, especially if they have arrived at their viewpoint from a position of doubt. Be emotionally honest and talk openly about hopes, fears, and anxieties

• Moral consistency is important for trust. Recognize the role of your own emissions, share your own struggle and success in reducing them (if not, you may appear hypocritical…no one is a perfect example, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t trying out best)

• Labeling climate change as an environmental issue restricts our ability to understand it—drop the “eco” label…this isn’t about polar bears, saving the planet, or the exclusive cultural domain of environmentalism. Climate change is a social, political, and economic issue that affects and will increasingly affect every component of society, from food security to immigration, from public health to global economies

• Close the partisan gap, affirm wider values that make people more willing to accept views that challenge their worldview. Begin by understanding and validating their values first and come up with ways that climate change can speak to those values

• Never assume that what works for you will work for others

• Mourn what is lost, value what remains

• How we respond now will provide the template for future responses—acceptance, compassion, cooperation, and empathy will produce different outcomes than aggression, competition, blame and denial

what will happen in a 4 degree world (written in 2014)

1. Heatwaves — temperatures not seen on Earth in the past 5 million years

2. Extinctions — 40% of plant / animal species will be at risk of extinction. Forests will be especially vulnerable, 1/3 of Asian rainforests under threat, most of Amazon risk burning

3. Food yields — 3 degree rise causes all crops to experience dramatic decline in current growing regions (1/3 in Africa). 4 degree could reduce US production of corn, soybeans, and cotton by 63 to 82 percent

• Total melting of Greenland ice sheet and likely the Western Antarctic ice sheet resulting in 32+ ft of sea level rise

• World Bank: “No certainty that adaptation might be possible.”

• John Schellnhuber: “The difference between two and four degrees is human civilization”

• Potential to reach 4 degrees by 2060

• Uncertainty is in timeline, not outcome. The key variable is the level of emissions and the speed with which we reduce them

That book was pretty draining to read, but I felt like it did a better job of conveying the underlying causes of political inaction better than any other book or article I’ve have encountered. Unfortunately, it was published in 2014, and I’m not sure that the public sphere has improved much on communicating about the dire consequences of climate change (not the mention that the values and priorities of the current administration didn’t even seem possible in 2014). I am still processing a lot of it and thinking of ways to make broader impact. I’m honestly not sure where to start, but I do want to think of more ways to facilitate conversations of fear, doubt, uncertainty, and general apolitical discussion of this global issue while finding ways to be more involved in the political space. Open to discussion or thoughts—shoot me a message.

other updates

• Scored a warehouse deal on a State Bicycle 4130 road bike. Irvine is not the most friendly bike commuting city due to absurdly sprawled city planning, but there are nice trails and I’m making an effort to bike to places within a 3-4 mile radius (to the library, for example). My last bike had a weird single speed gearing ratio and was terribly unpleasant to ride, but this one has been great

• Green Dreamer has been an informative / thoughtful / therapeutic podcast to listen to regarding earth issues. The host and guests provide a lot of nuance in discussing issues with a focus on personal wellness. Similarly, Sustainability Defined seeks to elucidate what “sustainability” actually means, and there’s a lot of good insight on that. In general, I find that the oversimplification of climate change in mainstream media frustrating — I know that it’s easier to accept a simple individual solution (ie. avoiding straws, recycling, buying an electric car, reducing meat consumption etc.), but I think there’s still a great gap in the discussion of our planet’s future. That’s not to say simple solutions shouldn’t be encouraged or aren’t impactful, but I think the amount of attention placed on small solutions are diluting a more important discussion—Where are we headed and how will we deal with it?

• NPR’s Throughline did a good episode on Hong Kong — worth a listen if you still don’t quite understand what’s going on there. I haven’t been following the news as closely anymore since it’s quite heartbreaking and it feels hopeless, especially when locals describe it as a last stand, but I think it’s still important to understand what’s happening

• I’ve never really tried to garden before because I didn’t have a backyard growing up, but a few years after doing an indoor plant research project and also meeting a lovely plant-inclined boy, we attempted a self-watering mobile garden!

• Started new job as a Product Manager at User Interviews. I’m really excited by the opportunity to learn more about PM-ing, design, and software engineering, as well as to work with a cool team on a product I find meaningful. It’s also an entirely remote, so I’m pretty happy about my carbon footprint reduction and excited to see where the role takes me

• Related to previous point… working on setting up a more ergonomic home office…will share when complete

• Still very much constantly in awe of the beauty of California sunsets

• Saw Whitney live — Light Upon the Lake was the soundtrack to my summer 2016 and they did not disappoint

reflection questions

• What is something that’s been falling down your priorities list that you want to prioritize again?

• What are ways you want to engage with your local community?

saturday sun

Took a little road trip out to Joshua Tree this weekend, hiked Ryan Mountain, and acquired a National Park Pass! Joshua Tree holds a special place in my heart—there’s something very magical about it’s pink and gold sunsets and unique landscape. There’s also amazing vegan peach pie out there and surprisingly good seitan burgers (Boo’s Organic Oven and Crossroads Cafe). Film photos pending, but here are some cell phone / Fujifilm shots in the meantime.

Stayed a little RV out in the desert. Not sure how I feel about RV life

Sprouting a Joshua Tree on top of Ryan Mountain

Swung by SoCal Food Fest on the way back home — always crazy looking back on how far the vegan food scene has come (and sometimes…how it hasn’t come far at all…). This was fried enoki and sweet sauce.

other updates

• Reading too many books at once (The Great Firewall, Don’t Even Think About It, and Range) —aiming for 125 at the end of the year and it seems doable

• Finally watched Avengers: Endgame and sort of can’t figure out why I used to like superhero movies?

• Trying to learn more about foraging and plant identification in the local area—I can identify two types of coastal brush and chollas and that’s about it

• On the job hunt

• Finally working on a side project—how can we make it easier for consumers to minimize pesticide risk in their produce while also minimizing cost?

• Planned two snowboarding trips for the winter already—Big Bear for Christmas and Tahoe post-New Year and I’m very psyched

• Ho Hey by The Lumineers is pretty hard to play on the guitar

• The news cycle is an overwhelming mess

• I haven’t listened to any podcasts lately and I would like to do that soon

• Shared this post on Medium almost exactly a year ago now. I am incredibly grateful for the human connection that vulnerability has enabled

• It’s 90 degrees and it’s the end of October

reflection questions

• Is it more important to love or be loved?

• What makes you feel energized?

favourite colour / site updates, los angeles touring, china

“You once told me that memory is a choice. But if you were god, you’d know it’s a flood.”

— Ocean Vuong, On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous

I was attempting to fix some spacing issues on my website and accidentally reset all of my styling, so I decided to mix it up a little. No more monospaced slab serif font, as much as I love the typewriter aesthetic—I think this is easier to read on mobile and easier to skim.

I also added my Chinese name to my title in consistency with my Instagram. I realized in 8th grade English class during a name vignette assignment that I am actually quite attached to my name, and glad that my parents chose something easily pronounceable in English yet meaningful in our native language. I appreciate the allusion to literature, culture, and the humanities, as well as its gender ambiguity when dealing with strangers.

It's hard to believe that it's September already. I quit my job and moved out of Boston about a year ago now—nearly everything about my life has changed, and I've genuinely never been happier. I'm incredibly grateful for the supportive network of friends, old and new, in Southern California. I feel incredibly grateful to constantly have people challenging me to be better, pushing me out of my comfort zone, and encouraging my intellectual and artistic curiosities. I feel like I've been expressing this sentiment a lot lately, but it's one that I think about on a daily basis.

Trying to become an OC native? Go Angels?

I took my first real stab at portraiture over Labor Day weekend. I still need to finish those rolls of film and get them developed, but I'm pretty excited for what comes out of that. I've never really been drawn to portraiture because photography was a solo endeavor for me growing up, but I think I could grow to like it more. I definitely have a lot to learn in that realm--posing, lighting, and timing in portraiture are quite different than what I'm used to in documentary/landscape photography.

I've been tourist-ing Los Angeles more. Despite growing up in South Pasadena, which is about a 15 min drive from DTLA, I realized I haven't experienced that much of the city at all. I visited OUE Skyspace (huge tourist trap) for some city views last weekend (and saw a local fire) and got an LA Public Library Card for more Libby audiobook hold scheming.

In my free time, I have been deep in the weeds of learning about the history of China. I think this curiosity started when I read From the Ruins of Empire: The Intellectuals Who Remade Asia by Pankaj Mishra after I picked it up on a whim at used bookshop in Victoria. That led me to Age of Ambition: Chasing Fortune, Truth, and Faith in the New China by Evan Osnos and The People's Republic of Amnesia: Tiananmen Revisited by Louisa Lim. I just finished Wealth and Power: China's Long March to the Twenty-first Century by Orville Schell and John Delury, and have started Wild Swans: Three Daughters of China by Jung Chang and The Great Firewall of China: How to Build and Control an Alternative Version of the Internet by James Griffiths. As an "Overseas Chinese" whose parents have never lived in China, I have very little personal context for Chinese history post-1940's, but it is still fascinating to learn about. I think trying to understand China's methods of controlling its population has been the most interesting (and sometimes horrifying), especially given the current state of politics in Hong Kong. I'm curious to learn more about how technology has broadened or threatened that state of control, hence the book about the Great Firewall. Wild Swans, for me, has really highlighted how much China has changed in the course of three generations—from feudalism, Japanese invasion, civil war, opium predominance, and concubinage through the Cultural Revolution and modern economic boom.

More OC-ing at the OC Fair.

In other news—headed up to Inyo National Forest this weekend. Hoping to spend some time exploring Manzanar (another excellent 99pi episode!), poking around the LA Aqueduct, hiking Kearsarge Pass, and otherwise enjoying the end of summer. The backstory of the LA Aqueduct is pretty crazy (well-told in The Mirage Factory: Illusion, Imagination, and the Invention of Los Angeles by Gary Krist)—construction began in 1905, led by William Mulholland, and led to the California Water Wars between Owens Valley and the city of Los Angeles. By 1913 the water from Owens River was diverted for city use via a 233-mile long aqueduct. The demands of Los Angeles left the valley residents very little left of their resources for agricultural use, which led to outrage and destruction attempts in 1924. Owens Lake pretty much ran dry by the end of the 1920's. Kim Stringfellow recorded an audio tour of the LA Aqueduct documenting the "controversial social, political, and environmental history of the Los Angeles Aqueduct system through the voices of historians, biologists, activists, native speakers, environmentalists, litigators, LADWP employees, and residents from both Los Angeles and the Owens Valley."

I really love this recent roll from the Olympus XA4 and Fuji C200. I think I might be having some underexposure issues, but I also don’t remember if I set the ISO properly for this roll. The consistency of beautiful sunset gradients in SoCal is unreal.

reflection question

• What are traits/qualities that people often admire you for?

• What is something someone else has done recently that you are proud of them for? Did you tell them?

control / prioritization and meats

prioritization

Attempting to come up with a list of life priorities to make myself more aware of how I’m spending my time and engaging with people around me. I’m wary of putting a disproportionate amount of time working on or worrying about things that don’t really bring much value to my long-term development. Thinking through these priorities systematically was a rewarding process in considering what kinds of things matter to me and how my daily habits are contributing to broader goals of where I want to be in the future while enabling the things I enjoy on a daily basis.

I separated these into categories RELATIONSHIPS, PERSONAL GROWTH, CAREER, and HEALTH. From there, I thought it made sense to divide into different tiers. 

Tier 1 - Things that affect my day-to-day happiness when not prioritized 

• RELATIONSHIPS: Spending time with family, SO, close friends

• PERSONAL GROWTH: Practicing empathy, gratitude, mindfulness, strengthening existing skills, learning new things

• CAREER: Working on research skills, design skills, and meaningful problems

• HEALTH (PHYSICAL): Practicing healthy daily habits and routines—eating, exercising, sleeping, skincare, water

• HEALTH (MENTAL): Taking time to introvert and self-reflect 

Tier 2 - Things that make me feel more fulfilled and stable when I have time to do them 

• RELATIONSHIPS: Catching up with friends I see more infrequently 

• PERSONAL GROWTH: Pushing myself out of my comfort zone, developing and applying new skills

• CAREER: Networking, financial stability

• HEALTH (PHYSICAL): Proactive preventative healthcare 

• HEALTH (MENTAL): Taking time to write long-form pieces about past experiences/stories

Tier 3 - Things that I don’t always get to do, but are meaningful and rewarding for me when I have time 

• RELATIONSHIPS: Putting myself in situations to meet new people

• PERSONAL GROWTH: Exploring my local community, getting involved in initiatives, volunteering 

• CAREER: Expanding skillset that contributes to career development in more peripheral ways

• HEALTH: Weight-lifting, improving flexibility/mobility, trying new types of exercise

deeper dive

Came across this interesting article on the history of the beef industry / a review of Joshua Specht’s new book, Red Meat Republic.

• This led me to a news article from May 2019 about the international purchasing of problematic Brazilian beef

  • “Most of that deforestation is illegal, with human-induced wild fires used to clear native vegetation for new cattle pastures being the largest driver. A study by the Brazilian non-governmental organization Imazon found that JBS ranked No. 1 among meat-packing firms that buy cattle in the Amazon for exposure to deforestation risk because of the location of the slaughterhouses that were near 1.7 million hectares of embargoed farms, 1.6 million hectares of area deforested from 2010 to 2015, and 1.2 million hectares of forest at risk for deforestation from 2016 to 2018.”

  • "As the report points out, JBS has been one key company in funding political campaigns legally and illegally," says Imazon Senior Researcher Paulo Barreto. "They funded campaigns and bribed politicians to benefit from environmental deregulation, tax breaks, and subsidized loans."

• Another article from the Bureau of Investigative Journalism on Amazon deforestation due to the beef industry

  • Up to 5,800 square kilometers of forest is being felled in the Amazon and other areas every year for cattle ranching.

  • “The findings come amid growing international concern over the looming impacts of climate change, with the Amazon forest seen by experts as a crucial buffer in stabilizing regional and global climate.

    Between 1980 and 2005, Amazon deforestation levels reached 20,000 sq km per year — with an area the size of Wales being lost. Although there have been political murmurings about trying to halt the destruction, the latest data shows that deforestation in the Brazilian Amazon has risen by 73% since 2012.”

Relatedly, lobbyist groups have been targeting plant-based meat products as unhealthy, even though most nutritionists seem to agree that products such as Beyond or Impossible are reasonable nutritional analogues to real meat with a greatly reduced environmental footprint. These attacks are not surprising, but continue to highlight how groups will continuously prioritize short-term economic gains over long-term planetary health. Beyond and Impossible have recently landed partnerships with companies like Sodexo, Aramark (two out of three of the largest providers of food for campuses, hospitals, companies, etc. in the US), Burger King, and Subway…I’ve been impressed by their pervasiveness in popular culture and how well-accepted they have been by meat eaters. I think these products will make a fairly significant environmental impact if they continue to be adopted by popular food chains and casual customers (Impossible Foods has an 2019 impact report if you’re interested in poking around a life-cycle analysis of their products). I would want to ensure that their ingredient sourcing continues to be sustainable as they face rapid expansion, since ingredients such as soy are known to contribute to their fair share of deforestation issues. 70% of US grown soy is used for livestock feed, though, so this may just become a matter of redirection if the market shifts, but still things that I’m watching for (insert monocle emoji).

reflection questions

• What are traits you notice yourself admiring in others and want to embody?

• What do you need?