wearing things, part ii /

I’ve returned this website to dark mode. I was reading a book about sustainable web design and realized that albeit small (relatively), certain decisions can make a big difference in terms of climate impact. Inverting my website colors is a very, very tiny act in the grand scheme of things, but still matters in terms of intention.

Intention is something that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. Intention in communication, intention in time, intention in decisions, intention in design. Intention can really be applied to anything.

The intention of my blog is a transparent space where I share my reflections on a wide variety of different topics, for whoever wants to engage with it.

As reflected in my last post, I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about the intention of the items that I own, how they serve my perception of myself and how I interact with the world. I’ve been on a half-year-long overhaul of my wardrobe to turn it from a random collection of individual items into something coherent.

The average woman has around 19 pairs of shoes, according to Google, which made me feel better about having 15, which I already felt like was a lot. I’ve struggled with finding comfortable shoes. Due to plantar fasciitis and flat feet, it is rare to find shoes flexible enough to not result in arch cramps but cushioned enough not to bruise my feet. I’ve gone through so many different kinds of shoes, but have finally arrived at a set of shoes that allows me to do what I enjoy, respect dress codes, and fit in with the intention of cohesion in my wardrobe.

Starter pack

These are the set of shoes that would get me through 80% of daily life. A pair of laced black chunky boots, Chuck Taylors, and Birkenstocks. It is basic AF, but I’m covered for all seasons and all casual use cases.

outdoor expansion

These are the shoes that enable me comfortably and safely take on various outdoor activities—hiking boots, basketball shoes, running shoes, and stiffer shoes for cycling. I’ve tried to minimize this before, using a single pair of cross-trainers to encompass all activities. While it satisfied the minimalist intention and they were decent all -around, they weren’t the “right” shoe for anything. I slipped on hikes, my soles would hurt after basketball and running, and they were not durable to the bike pedal pins. While I 4x’d the number of shoes to be able to fit my various use cases, I have more confidence in taking on each activity, which overall contributes quality of life.

social expansion

If I had it my way, I wouldn’t need fancy shoes, but I respect dress codes and want to look appropriately presentable in all contexts. My goal at fancy events is generally to blend in. I have a pair of loafers from my consulting days, one pair of open-toe heels, one pair of closed-toe heels, and leather sandals. These take me from business casual to semi-formal and I don’t expect to ever be invited to black-tie event.

aesthetic expansion

And finally, I have shoes that don’t serve a functional goal, but I really enjoy wearing for aesthetic and comfort purposes. I have a pair of Salomon lifestyle shoes that are very easy to take on and off and work across my wardrobe, my favorite Nike’s designed by Olivia Kim, and chunky black oxfords. I don’t “need” these shoes for anything specifically, but I wear them all the time.


I’ve been applying the same approach the rest of my wardrobe. I have a core wardrobe with different “expansions” based on outdoor activity and fancy dress codes, and items that I have that are for pure enjoyment and self-expression. Splitting the items into different groups helps provide clarity on which items I should expect to use more often than others. For example, at some point I thought about getting rid of my heels because I haven’t wore them in two years. After reflecting on it, I realized that I don’t own heels to wear them constantly, and that they’re for special events that were mostly cancelled during COVID. Likewise, I’ve made the mistake of getting rid of running shoes before because I was in a slump, and then, months later, used the lack of shoes as an excuse not to run. I try to remember now that material possessions can weigh me down mentally, but they are also what enables me to do activities that are rewarding. I’ve been socially anxious about going to events before because I didn’t have the right shoes, and while it’s easy to go overboard, I do realize now that having a intentional wardrobe is very liberating—I don’t have to panic buy a dress because I got invited to a wedding that I was unprepared for, only to never wear it again because I only bought it under time pressure.

I expect that this will mostly conclude my reflections on clothing and fashion for the year. When I started on my closet reorganization and overhaul, I did not expect it to take up so much active thought and energy (and also money). I felt guilt over the consumerist aspect while figuring it out, but ultimately, I think it was worth it to prevent the reactionary cycle of having a full closet but constantly feeling like nothing was right. It made me more susceptible to advertisement, which often preys on the feeling of a new item perfectly filling a gap (sometimes an invented gap). Anything felt like it could fit when I had no sense of what the gaps really were. Now, advertisements rarely trigger any kind of emotional response because I’m self-aware about the gaps and I know exactly what I would want to fill them. Overall, I’m eager to take the energy I’ve spent reading about fabric weight, cuts, color theory, thread count, shoe lasts, and insulation and apply it to other parts of life. But if anyone is looking for a wardrobe redesign, let me know. It was pretty fun.

24 / misc

I turned 24 today, one of the first birthdays I've had unburdened by projects, work, exams, SATs, or AP tests in a long time. It was also the first birthday I've spent with my family since my 18th.

My family and I spent the weekend around Morro Bay and San Luis Obispo. We went kayaking, ATV-ing, and hiking, and also ate a lot of hippie vegan food and açaí bowls. I visited Hearst Castle for the first time, saw some peregrine falcons, tried to speak seal, felt an earthquake, listened to the new Vampire Weekend album, and downed a bag of kettle corn. I took a lot of film pictures on the Leica M2 and Olympus XA4, but those won't be developed for a few days.

Kayaking on Morro Bay!

Kayaking on Morro Bay!

Birthdays are quite arbitrary, but tend to provide some framework for reflection. A year ago, on my birthday, I went to dinner at Red Lentil in Watertown, MA with some very important people in my life. I ate a lot of cake, vanilla bean ice cream, and was excited for the start of an eventful summer full of New York trips, GRE flashcards, and bike-building. Three years ago, I stayed up studying for a manufacturing exam and had two exams and a project due on my birthday. This year, I'm grateful for quality family time, surprising and meaningful relationships, and California landscapes. I'm excited for a continuous process of learning more about the world, pushing on various facets of personal growth, and enjoying summer nights. I’m still processing a lot of the changes that have happened within the last 365 days, but I think one of the most fascinating things about life is its unavoidable propensity to move forward, despite how dire or unresolvable problems may seem at the time.

First time ATV-ing at Oceano Dunes near Pismo Beach, California.

First time ATV-ing at Oceano Dunes near Pismo Beach, California.

Short book update:

Endurance by Scott Kelly

I think this is worth reading if you have a particular interest in space... I found it a bit too dry, which was disappointing given how much content he had to work with. Still, the perspective of becoming an astronaut who spends a year in space is pretty interesting no matter how mediocre of a storyteller he is.

Ghosts of the Tsunami: Death and Life in Japan’s Disaster Zone by Richard Lloyd Perry

This is one of the most emotionally-sensitive narrative nonfiction books I've ever read. I really admired what Perry was able to pull from the situation he spent so much time researching. A beautiful book about a heartbreaking tragedy.

Rising Out of Hatred: The Awakening of a Former White Nationalist by Eli Saslow

Super interesting account of how the son of the founder of Stormfront distanced himself from the white nationalist movement after growing up at the forefront of it (and was, for most of his teenage years, expected to lead it one day) . The book can be quite disturbing at times, but did provide an insightful look into the ideology of white supremacy. Important read.

Question for you all:

Tell me some of your favorite birthday stories! Best birthday you ever had? Worst birthday you ever had? Strangest birthday you ever had?

are you okay?

Thank you Spotify Discover Weekly playlists.

New bike! It’s a singlespeed cyclocross bike from Bike Nashbar that I got during Cyber Monday sales for about 60% off. Very worth it. It’s the third bike that I’ve assembled now, and I love the process every time. I’m still getting used to the geometry, and it’s a bit heavy for a singlespeed since it’s a cyclocross bike, but I’m excited to go on real bike rides again. I swapped the 32mm Kenda tires for some Continental Gatorskins, and replaced the stock saddle with my Brooks Cambium. Everything else is stock for now, but I think the pedals could use some replacing, and maybe a different gearing ratio eventually. Will update with bike adventures soon. :)

thin (live) / colorado

Spent the last few days in Colorado with the family. It was a good blend of hiking/relaxing/family time, and I enjoyed it a lot. 

Some photos below: Experimenting with the slideshow because uploading each image takes forever. The main things we did were Garden of Gods, Pikes Peak, Cave of the Winds, and Paint Mines Interpretive Park. Other than a few thunderstorms, the weather was pretty much perfect. I took a lot of pics with the Olympus XA4 so there will probably be a second wave of photos at some point. Now...back to work...

what i need / nerd updates

New Ben Howard and this video made it hard to pick a song for this post, but this video gives me life and also this song is definite summer jams. Also it's Pride month, so this is more appropriate. 

And it's summer!! It's hard for me to fully grasp that the weather is actually consistently nice and my heating bills won't be more than $200 dollars anymore... This month has been pretty exciting overall. I finished my first project at work, which was generally rewarding. I definitely learned a lot about the design process and about my own working/learning style. I'm realizing more and more how much my personal passion matters to me in my daily work, which makes me feel like general design consulting might not be the place for me. I'm lucky to have incredibly supportive and caring coworkers though, so I'm still very much enjoying my current work environment.

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I went to New York City for Memorial Day weekend, which was a welcome escape from Boston. I always love visiting New York - everything feels so much more alive, and also the food is incredible (special note of love to Absolute Bagels and Buddha Bodai). It was nice to just walk around and feel life in the city, and also to catch up with some old friends. I finally went to the American Museum of Natural History as well, which made me think about my small existence in the universe. 

Other than that, I've been cleaning out my apartment a lot and really thinking about what I want to do this summer. I have a lot of film rolls that I'm excited to develop - I recently trialed a Bessa R3m, which is a M-mount rangefinder camera made by Voigtlander. I got it from KEH new in box, but the metal shutter was a huge turnoff and I found it very jarring to shoot. That was a shame, because the 1x viewfinder and other mechanics/feel were quite delightful. I ended up returning it and scoring a Leica M2 on eBay for $600 after some crazy discount codes and things. It's supposed to be in working condition, but even if I have to send it for some repairs, I'm pretty psyched about it. I've had a picture of a Leica M2 on my wall at home since 11th grade. I cannot really afford true Leica glass at this point, so I'm waiting on a 7Artisans 35mm f/2 to hold me out. 

I have been shooting digital a lot less, which may explain the lack of photos in this post. I ended up returning the 0.95 aperture lens I talked about in my post from March. My Fuji kit only contains the 18-55 and 23 at this point. It's very functional, but even after all this time, I recognize that my joy in photography mostly comes from shooting film. I've been using the Olympus XA4 extensively, which is by far my favorite point and shoot camera. The 28mm view, easy zone focusing, and tiny size make it the best everyday carry camera I've found (and I've tried too many to count).

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I've picked up (or continued, I guess) more nerd hobbies and acquired a new mechanical keyboard. I got a cheap blue switch 60% keyboard (MagicForce 68) a few years ago because I'm all about the tactile things, but that thing is super loud and I wanted something I could potentially take to work or use in a busier environment. Since I'm all about compactness and efficiency, I opted for a 40% ortholinear keyboard. As you can see from the picture, this means the keys aren't staggered. I was a bit worried about typing ability, but I've had about a week to practice and am pretty much at my normal typing speed. It takes a few minutes to adjust when I go back to my work laptop, but it's been really fun programming specific keys and making new short cuts and things. This will probably make zero sense to the majority of people reading my blog, so I'll stop now. Brown switches are way nicer than blues though, fyi. 

Looking forward to...

  1. Haux concert! (Thursday)

  2. Colorado trip with family (Starting next Sunday)

  3. Summer nights and bike rides (ALL SUMMER)

  4. Leica repairing and refurbishing (Probably right before Colorado)

  5. Vegan sushi in Montreal (mid July)

  6. Visiting Grandma in Ireland (October?)

  7. Moving closer to home (Late October???)

lightning + gold

Found and charged up the old Zune HD this past week so I'm living with a healthy dose of throwback music right now. This song reminds me of senior year of high school.

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I went hiking the the Fells Reservation near Somerville last weekend. It was lot nicer than expected, considering it sits dead in the suburbs. 

Otherwise, have just been cranking away in life. My current project at work ends at the end of the month, and I'm looking forward to a trip to NYC before summer really kicks in. I'll be going to Colorado Springs with the family in mid-June. I also found out that I was admitted to a 7 day agroecology class at Concordia University in Montreal! That'll happen in July. I'm very excited to learn more about the economics/politics of local food provisioning (and eating a lot of vegan sushi). Other summer goals include actually sitting down and learning DaVinci Resolve so I can start playing with video editing, biking a lot, practicing more creative storytelling, and taking more pics.

I have four rolls of film at the developing lab right now from a few recent adventures, and I'm excited to get those back. 

This was a very disorganized blog post but thanks for reading anyway!